Enjoy Now!

Labor Day weekend we went on a little family trip 3 hours south to see my folks and then another 2hr drive to spend the day at the beach.



Saturday the whole family was to come and spend the day. I come from a family whose siblings are widely set apart and so various stages of our lives have always overlapped. Like my middle sister just sent her son to college and is now an empty nester, my niece just had a baby 6 months ago so there is a little new person in our family. From 25-75 we have a stage to fit everyone! That being said...I sometimes break the norm because I'm not ready for the next stage. We are getting into the dreaded questions "So...when are you getting your tubes tied."





As we have made it through our recent set of challenges, kept our faith and stayed pretty steady-on course we felt it time to sit back on the beach Sunday and reflect on where we were in life.



There is this recurring theme…from friends, family, from each other…are we done having kids? Two is safe, so what will you do? Push it or hold what you have!

Folks thinking we just got the youngest in kindergarten, surely we wouldn't  be crazy? That’s like starting over!! My family gasps when we hesistate to answer.


Watching the other children on the beach, and our children playing with other children we realized we kinda have it made, but wouldn’t it be nice to try one more? Didn’t really matter boy or girl, just one more.

They both grew up so fast. And we know when we have a baby there is that short period of time where time stands still.



Did I feel the need to put more on myself. Hadn’t I JUST come through a storm? My recent scare with June’s surgery, my Lula’s lawsuit (dismissed last week, peace!), my loss of a major mentor, along with my baby starting kindergarten really shook me and I held on so tightly to prevent a crack in my emotional foundation. But it was all fine. I had to turn it over to Him and get use to NOT working it all out in MY time but it was fine. Both issues took a little longer than my liking, but hey...can't rush God, huh?



We have indeed realized how fast our time has gone by, Bayne and I both agreed we desperately desire to hit the reset button.





I Started Gretchen’s Rubin’s book “The Happiness Project” in January with my women’s circle. It didn’t make it with the group past the 2nd month but I’ve continued it on my own. While I am happy, I have always wondered could I be happier? Have I gone through all I’ve gone through, lots of self reflection and awareness to be bitter about dirty dishes. I feel differently about my station in life than I did before we had Baylor. I am in a unique position to slow down, focus on my real pleasures and work on writing a little more. I would love to have the opportunity to be pregnant, give birth and enjoy the months following without having to work through my pregnancy and get permission to enjoy maternity leave. I would love to do it stress free!!



We are in a new home, with “2” bathrooms, and a great set up for a nursery. Bayne is already having to go out of town more and we are use to that again and we are already adjusted to one income.



I remember hearing “you tell me why and I’ll tell you why not” growing up as a kid . I have a weird feeling my Dad said it frequently, especially during my teenage years. I feel like I know the “whys” but the “why nots” seem to be rooted out of fear and I have a new motto not to let fear rule me! Much like riding a horse, I have decided if it something I hesitate at I first have to understand WHY I hesitated to move forward. Fear, fear is why. So, ultimately to overcome your obstacle and move forward, proud in your achievements, one must face that fear head on.





I also realize I must risk failure. We had no participants in our 3rd session of Financial Peace University at our local church. So it didn’t appeal to anyone right now, okay maybe it will in the Spring. We needed the break anyway. But we did help two groups collectively pay off over $60,000 in 26 weeks so we should celebrate that.

I feel my path is guided by God anyway and so I trust completely. Its kinda of like that when I’m writing my blogs. I compile several trains of thought throughout the week and then go back and link them all together. Basically working on an outline all week then filling it in all in one sitting. That way it is current, but I feel it leaves me little time to critique myself. The good thing about doing it this way is I find I don’t go back and edit myself over and over. If I were to truly let my brain loose with that task I might never hit publish on a single one. I have learned that one has to experience criticism to grow and without the failures there could be no successes!



So, with that being said I think we have resigned ourselves to take more risks, embrace the possibility of failure but more importantly to enjoy the now . And whenever we decide we want to do something different it is hard to find someone who can give us a valid “why not“! With that mentality we will see where we go from here. Between now and next Thursday I will have had my 3 month follow up mammogram. I am nervous of course but trust it will be fine whatever happens. Today I am “Enjoying my NOW!”