Growing UP!
I have, for my entire 20 year career, felt so honored when anyone gave me props as a multi-tasker. While the kids are practicing or playing I usually feel as if I am required to be efficient and find my 20 min in the day to get ahead. That is what my training as an organizer has taught me through numerous blogs and websites for neat people. Time Management -Time Management! I caught myself last week missing a moment though. Baylor was at acolyte practice and I watched from behind a book like I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I think I do this as to show him I’m not hovering. I want him to do new things without fear of what I will think. But he was so serious about it! His hand placement perfect, his timing calculated to wait for the other child to walk back down. Completely pleased with his new job that he kept asking Angie “so are we gonna do this every Sunday?” For all I know he may become a Pastor himself one day because of that moment. My son turns 8 in 10 days. I keep seeing my nephew who started college this year posted in pics and he was just at my wedding as the ring bearer when HE was 8!
I realized, “this was it” ,THIS is my time to witness what great creatures they are. I can multitask all I want but THIS is not where I am going to focus on efficiency for the moment. I can eliminate some other time waster elsewhere later on like the 10,500 emails in my inbox…yes, I am going to just hit DELETE one day.
We got out the Halloween decorations last night and my husband walked through the paper strewn living room and said “it’s not even October yet”. This year I let them put everything out on their own, okay mostly. They impress me with where they want to hang things. And the boys and I have a lot of fun doing it. I think that is one of the reasons I keep backing up the date I bust out the Christmas decorations. It drives my husband crazy but I want the boys to really remember the decorations for as long as they can. Our niece, Janie Bess, has a fascination with Christmas trees and Bayne’s mother has left hers up for months just for that baby. What does it hurt? We are making memories, right?
While changing the house around for the new fall season, my husband and I created some play areas and extra surfaces for the boys to place their Lego sets on. When they were little it used to be palette places on the floor to play but they our constructors now.
It is so unfair, this modern day society, we are to run at break neck speeds, all these plates up in the air, having our babies, becoming homemakers, trying to keep our place in the rat race…showing everyone we can do this…we can get organized (Actually we just keep moving the same stuff to better hiding places) then it gives…
I had a friend in Elementary School…Anastasia…if I could find that girl now I would be thrilled. Her home was so eccentric, she dressed different, her parents were artsy (read hippy now that I know what that looks like) they had cool art displayed everywhere. The house was not a dirty mess, it was just living art everywhere. Her mother encouraged Anastasia to have forts and decorate her ceiling and build misc. sculpture. I had a good time everywhere we went together along with our other BFF Vanessa. Her parents never seemed overly present, they were always in the background and I have no idea what they did for a living, didn’t care. Anastasia as an only child was always entertained! Pinky Dinky Doo reminds me of my childhood friend. I’m sure she is living some place eclectic like SoHo, drinks cool coffee and only dates artists!
We get into this micromanagement mind set and we refuse to see our way past it…looking back having my kids a little older now, I can see where I should have let them completely make messes everywhere (er, creative messes) but I was too wrapped up in “Overwhelm”…I’m coming out of it and pleased to see other women I know coming out of it too. I think mine was attributed to my upbringing that my mom and dad were incredibly orderly people and I felt the need to create that kind of home too but I was to have a career as well.
I once read Naomi Wolf’s ( a third generation feminist) book “the Beauty Myth’ in which she discussed women finding and making peace with their inner authentic feminine self. Looking back I know now why I didn’t understand it in college. I didn’t possess the knowledge I have now. Its hard to do that in our current state because at the present moment women are leading men in job growth and we tend to be over-achievers to showcase our excellent ability to do it all. I watch some of my friends status updates and mine as well…they all reflect this “I can do it all, see?” mentality…I sit back and wonder when will they hit that moment that it gives and realize it isn’t all about being the best, the most efficient, the most talented. The MOST anything! I know folks that I think, “what keeps propelling you forward girl?” What s that compensating for? Then I ask myself the same question along with…” So, how’s that working out for you?”
I say it is a balancing act! That’s why I equate everything I do in life to what is possible on the back of an equine! So much has to do with trusting that you know that horse’s sweet spot….the one where you and he run together in unison, rider possessing the ability to change body position to brace for a turn without coming off is relevant to the road of life.
When you get to a peaceful place (which may look a bit stuffy and organized at first like an IKEA showroom if you‘re not careful) where you can live in your NOW without worry of what s coming next, when you learn to release control of the reins and allow life to happen, THEN you will realize a little mess is best!
