Update on "My Happiness Project"

It is such a funny little life I lead. Really quite amazing. It isn't based in wealth or having a lot of possessions. In fact, over the last 5 years I am sad to say I have noticed I have no makeup left and certainly less clothing, my former shoe collection breaks my heart and just TRY to find a matching pair of earrings. I have noticed around me that I have actually narrowed down how much we have these days, like by lots! Since we cut up credit cards in 2007 we just don't over shop anymore. And because we live within a budget I have to really justify that $12 bottle of foundation.

There are so many things I could want for though. I want a new pair of boots, a new belt, a faux fur vest, bigger sunglasses, make up! But, I woke up this morning, dropped the kids off, headed out to the barn and the dew was still fresh on the grass. Far off in the shade of the trees I could see the silhouette of my equine buddies making their way to the fence for feeding time. The most beautiful sight was opening those barn doors as I do each Tuesday morning and seeing those magnificent creatures with just a hint of smoke coming from their nostrils. Looking all along the fence row I could see the leaves had all really started turning. The same 4 turkeys that always stroll through began making their way across the paddock. I hardly broke a sweat with my morning work but couldn't escape getting dirty. I always feel accomplished leaving that place. I like to imagine this is the way my grandfather, Eugene, felt after a good hard days work. He had cattle, chickens, pigs, a sugar cane mill, a donkey, cats, dogs, u name it! It was a working farm. I loved summer's there as a child. It is nice to have that place still to go home to thought that might not always be the case I realize now.
Not sure how long the old house will stand.

From there the day's work went into the radio show and then thoughts turned toward tomorrow's lessons for EASI. It is our last session and some of these kids will not make it back next session. On one hand I am excited to have a Wed. free next week but then I'm gonna hate not seeing some of those faces. There will be new ones though.

I sometimes think what I do is boring and mundane and just really simply an excuse to not punch a 40 hr time card. I do enjoy it then again if you talked to me tomorrow I would be upset because running a business is super frustrating and super duper hard and let's face it...people take advantage. I enjoy what I do, I just hate running the business side. That is the part that makes me wanna take the signs off the truck and say I quit every month!!

It is more obvious than ever that it is really all about balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing. I am finishing up my "Happiness Project" and I can honestly say it has been a fun project to catch up each month. I realize that there are certain shortcomings I must accept and not try to further force myself to like what I SHOULD like.

Looking at my calendar to log a new appt it hits me...  I have booked a 3 hr field trip, a 1 hour radio show, 4 classes, two different presentations and preparing for a 4 day camping trip away from my children the 12th and 13th. I will have to pack the weekend of the women's conference along with preparing all of the week's blog entries and information for the kids to go back and forth to school.

In "The Happiness Project" Gretchen Rubin quotes Michel de Montaigne, "The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced."

I must accept my own nature but also stay motivated. I must learn the difference as Rubin states from "lack of interest" and "fear of failure".

I'm getting there. I realize it isn't traditional this life of mine. I am not the norm for sure when my husband tells me "(fill in blank name here) still doesn't know what you do"

So as I am reflecting on my day and how much I enjoyed it I think is this happiness? Is this balance?  Even though I know my father is going through what he is going through, my sister is probably incredibly tired by today of care taking and my mother is so ready to be home it is unfair...and I am eat up with worry over those situations. I know I cannot control those events and its okay to feel some happiness from where I am in life even though those things are happening right now. I don't think my parents would want me to be miserable, right?

My mom constantly tells me to remember to stop and smell a rose once and a while. I told Bayne a few weeks ago I was chopping the ropes to dead weight by mass amounts...and I've been working on lightening my load. But then I commit to like 6 different things that all start or end in a 2 day period, requiring all different text, even different clothes and LOTS of preparation.

Today I wrote my presentation an hour before I went on air. I will sit down in the morning and write my lesson plans for the day on site. I find I really do my best work under pressure and should stop feeling guilty for it...I thrive in chaos!! Don't know why! But I obviously ENJOY it or I wouldn't keep doing it to myself. So I should celebrate it, put my abilities on blast! "Works well under pressure" "Diffuser of Chaos". As my dad says, "some folks aren't happy unless they are burning the candle at both ends"

When learning to ride you must also eventually learn how to fall. Learning to relax your body and rooolllll into it decreasing your damage potential.
You are then suppose to roll up onto your heels and simply pop up. I think I have learned how to enjoy life so much because of that very idea...I've learned how to rooollll into it...thus decreasing my damage risk and pop back up.

When Rubin makes reference to an acquaintance citing John Stuart Mill's view "Ask yourself if you are happy, and you cease to be so." She questions if he had  meant a reference by the researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to the state of flow. "In flow, it's true, people are completely absorbed, so focused on their tasks that they forget themselves at the perfect balance of challenge and skill." Whereas she felt maybe her friend was insinuating that to ponder ones happiness meant you were self absorbed or perhaps happiness comes as a consequence of pursuing other goals, such as love and work, and therefor shouldn't be a goal in itself. After pondering these ideas a bit further Rubin responds with "You're happy if you think you're happy.

I am learning to live on less for sure, but I have never felt richer than I do today. No doubt, I've come a long way from my "collection's manager" (i use that term loosely) days. Those were the days I HATED getting up and going to work. Newly married, no idea what I was doing, working for horrible ambulance chasers, greasy, unlikable sort of men, then later moving on to corporate hell. I am grateful for each day, you got that right!  I simply must be happy because I think I'm happy!

I've contemplated September's goal to "Pursue a Passion" now I am  looking forward to starting October's chapter on "Pay Attention, Mindfulness."

For more information on how you can start your own Happiness Project or to read more by Gretchen Rubin visit www.happiness-project.com .

I’m not a hopeless romantic…

But I AM an addict of hope! Sometimes we get teased because we like to watch Joel Osteen. Some call him a prosperity minister. I don’t see that at all…I see him as a minister of HOPE. I think looking back through all my years I have found one common bond in every situation. I did indeed have hope when I had nothing else. I think everyone deserves hope. I think we need hope to encourage each other and gain the support and confidence to be our best and live our best life. Without hope why would we get up every morning?
I think we wake up every morning with the same hope we woke up with yesterday. It may not be for the same things but we place our feet on the floor hoping either today will be better than yesterday; that today is the day we get our break; that it is all going to work out; or that maybe today we get that front parking space at Wal-Mart…you know the one right by the cart return?
I have never been one to believe in the supernatural but I have one thing that I am pretty serious about and don’t really think I have ever shared with anyone. I believe every time I see a red cardinal I see God.
Why? I don’t know…but for several years now when I have been contemplating, usually out the kitchen window, low and behold a red cardinal flies across my vision plane. So, I have tested it…I have said at one point “OK Lord, if it’s you send me a cardinal…and hello, there he is!
SO you may say…“oh Melissa! That’s just like when you want a new car, suddenly you see that make car everywhere you look!!” Maybe, whatever, it makes me feel closer to Him and I feel hope instilled in my heart again.
I am at this very moment contemplating those various threads that keep commanding my attention. I HOPE I am making the right decisions, I HOPE it all works out like we have planned and prepared for, I HOPE I am being smart! I HOPE my Dad is going to be okay. I HOPE Owen picks up the pace, I HOPE Baylor is going to happy with his birthday present. I HOPE I am taking the right opportunities and avoiding the wrong ones. I HOPE I don’t come across as bossy or knowing too much. I HOPE people listen to the radio tomorrow. I HOPE Halloween costumes come in on time. I HOPE I can get it all done.
One of my favorite shows is “Parenthood”. The season opener shows Zeek and Camille working out their marriage since their split last season. Zeek’s response to her as learned in therapy is to say” I see you, I hear you”. It shows Camille he is listening to her. How many of just want to be heard and seen? I know I do!
I think I enjoy that most about my relationships with my girlfriends and family. I love to speak hope over them. I love to see them pursue their dreams and encouraging them on is something to witness.
Sometimes my husband gets annoyed when I’m on the computer or texting. Even though I am nodding my head and acting attentive I’m not listening to a single word. I am too involved in what I’m doing. Not respectful of his feelings much is it? I am trying to work on it more. Working to spend more time with those I love and less worry about what I hope works out or what I can‘t control. If it is in God’s hands truly then it will work out if it is to work out. My future will be whatever it is to be, right? I have a purpose and have been fortunate thus far by having faith. OH LOOK! There’s a cardinal!!
Thank you Lord, I get it! I see you and I hear you!

You put one foot in front of the other

Blog: It's goThroughout my career as an organizer I have been blessed to know & work for so many people, all kinds of people from all walk of life. Oh, how I love each and everyone for what they teach me. Some, after what we experience together, feel like family. I treat each one as an individual and each case is different than the one before. Now, I love the pop in & out folks as well, but have a special place for those dealing with strife.

They each have a very different story, each with its own duration and beginning. However, amongst them all has been a recurring theme. They have been dealt a moment in life that changed them.

While visiting the Career Fair here in town yesterday I was blessed to hear a young woman speak about her brother, who had passed at the age of 16. They began a foundation to celebrate his life called "Live Lovely" .  She explained how her brother received a fatal diagnosis and survived only a few short months following. She discussed there being moments in one's life that make you react one of two ways. Either it destroys you or it makes you stronger.

I am communicating with a client who I will be visiting in the coming weeks about a whole house project and what will be taking place during our days together. As we talk each time I can see more and more that there have been moments just like this in her life.

I am not a therapist, nor do I claim to be able to "fix" people, but I CAN fix one of the symptoms which is clutter. If there is no outer order there is no inner calm.

I too have had moments like this in my life, on many occasions. Unfortunately, as a young adult I experienced very sad circumstances and endured a lengthy time in life in situations which destroyed by self esteem, I chose to make that experience a positive one and spent the next several years digging deep to define who "Melissa" was. Being strong in my sense of self allows me the confidence to pick up after new setbacks. It is only through some soul searching that we can overcome life's struggles.

Many of my clients have lost a spouse, some have experienced a divorce, lost a child, lost a parent, had a physical issue, lost a job, or just plain overworked and overscheduled. While talking this morning, she mentioned "I can't believe my life could really be changing in just a week".  It is overwhelming. I explain during these marathon sessions that a lot of emotions are going to come. Again, everyone is different. But a lot of the responses to having a stranger come in and turn your house upside down and right side up again are the same. I explained I wanted her to journal her feelings this week leading up to my arrival, because we would have to process this before during and after the project was completed. I asked her to repeat this word when she begins to feel the anxiety this week….Forward. It is the word I say when I feel overwhelm building in my own chest. It has worked for 2 years to keep me from having panic attacks.

For all of my clients that I work with dwelling in these valleys, I pray for the same thing, that they come out of it with a burden off of their shoulders, a peace on their heart allowing them to focus on the positive momentum we have started. Empowering them to release the fear and regret that has manifested into the material and put one foot in front of the other to becoming confident and healthy.

I ask you to do the same thing I instruct other's to do, journal. Write down how your belongings make you feel. If you intend to tackle it yourself take the opportunity to document your progress. When you are on the other side you will need to process the emotions you went through to get there. At times, when you feel frustrated with your surroundings, put in words what is frustrating you. For example, there are too many papers, cords are everywhere, laundry is in piles, etc. Then process why this isn't getting the attention it needs. Then…you too can start putting one foot in front of the other to devise a solution.

posted on: 1/28/2010 2:00:00 PM by Melissa Searcy
category: Family
http://www.onlineorganizing.com/

What do Faith, a Biopsy, Some Disorganization and The Horse Whisperer have to do with each other?

What do Faith, a Biopsy, Some Disorganization and The Horse Whisperer have to do with each other?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Written to post originally May 21, 2010

Discouragement, Hope and Victory. Three words that I feel sum up the majority of our emotions! Throw in a little Fear and we come to a standstill.

With my current situation I have for this past week pondered difficult situations I am about to face even folks from my past I have never looked forward to seeing again. Along with a strong pull to do something new, to be happier, to live longer and most importantly live according to God's Plan for me.

Actually, ever since I read Max Lucado's book "The Cure for the Common Life" several years ago, I have done nothing but. After some of the more challenging periods of my life I have done lots of self study trying to use my own progress and take my own story to be a blessing to others. In order to do that you have to contend with constant scrutiny and validation of your own actions.

Becoming a Christian nearly 5 years ago my life has changed much indeed. But have I gotten too comfortable since then? Am I supposed to be moving a hair to the right a bit? While I have been learning to ride horseback these past few years I have never felt closer to God. It is almost like He lets me in on a little known secret of the universe…trust. When horse and rider are in rhythm something magical occurs. You live as Max Luxado's book points out "in your sweet spot." That ball and groove continuity is really nice. I've been blessed enough to be there for quite a while.

When we moved in 08 I felt like I was giving everything up. I felt as though I had been successful and that all of it was going to be taken away from me. It hasn't. I have remained busy with great clients from my new home and our old home. I don't even mind the drive anymore and look forward to the trips and the people I meet. I haven't suffered lately.

But I am not restful either. My house is taking more time to keep together, I must get to every drawer soon as they are all brimming with stuff but I have made major strides in the past week since I've been focusing on this procedure coming up. And I realized something…sometimes our houses make us feel hopeless on purpose…we walk around disgusted by the mess that illustrates clearly we are out of balance and feeling too tired to pay attention to it.

Then there is the weight. After losing 65 lbs after my second son I have nearly regained it all. The time before that one I lost 60 lbs after I left the domestic situation and wanted to be healthy. I look at those times and think when I was happy I was healthier. Look again; I was getting into my sweet spot….beginning the company, building the brand, joining the organizations, becoming a player in entrepreneurship, setting my own schedule and naming my own price followed as result of that happiness. It felt good. But my schedule was increasing and I was beginning to get worried comments from my mother on slowing down. I began having panic attacks and couldn't get outta bed. I developed staph from a client's home and suffered days in the bed recovering. About that time Bayne transferred and we were soon moving.

That was my call to take it easy, so after moving I didn't even really want to pick up the business for a while. So here I am again, growing, building, getting busy, over committing and what's happening? Someone's trying to get my attention. My house stays a mess, my car is a mess, my children are too busy and grouchy, and my husband and I haven't had a date night in a while and are really feeling it. We are grouchy, tired, overworked and in bad need of some family time. Summer can't come soon enough.

Then this biopsy hanging over my head…it has made me realize that the unbearable times are truly worth it and necessary in the end, but do we allow ourselves to fully feel the extent of what that someone is trying to tell us?

We women labor with our children, sick, tired, in pain but then we deliver that delightful creature. After laboring for so long our hope is restored in that one face to face meeting. We find ourselves a prisoner of hope for this individual. Having allowed ourselves to feel the pain we get to experience the exhilaration of victory.

I have come to this conclusion…If He will break me He will heal me. My house disrupts my Zen when my spirit is out of whack for a reason.

I am serious about feeling every bit of this…not succumbing to medicine to numb the anxiety or fear of the unknown. I realize how many times I didn't allow myself to feel something that might have otherwise fixed my path sooner. Could I have been organized sooner and more completely? Could I have been thin all these years instead of struggling?



After watching an episode of Oprah, the author of "Women, Food and God" book was talking about how the food doesn't allow us to experience those feelings completely. You begin negative thinking and next you are in the pantry. Instead, go with that feeling and find out where it is trying to take you.

Our disorganization is suppose to be painful to us I think. After all, the word clutter comes from the Latin root "Clot", which makes one think of a clot clogging an artery. Our lack of focus is supposed to redirect us onto the correct path.

The further out of sync we are with our purpose the more uncomfortable we become. Sometimes we are not supposed to stay where we are and change must occur to jar us from this convenient slumber of life where we are wasting our talents. We are to transition from one stage to another.



When breaking horses I think of the movie "The Horse Whisperer" the gut wrenching seen as Pilgrim and the broken girl rise together after feeling the full extent of their pain. Victorious in the struggle, glorified in complete harmony with every rise and fall of the horse's gait. I live for those moments of victory and joy.

But if I see that there is going to be a little pain involved well I go rearrange a room, tear out a closet or buy a dozen donuts...let's face it distractions must be made.

What if this is the "C" word, I am realistic enough to understand that He sometimes has to break us to make us holy. Just like Pilgrim, Am I due for a little breaking?

It is of His choosing! We must review, process, store and delete unnecessary information and respectfully store the memories…if we are healthy. Otherwise we detour those negative thoughts with food, shopping or distractions.

Realizing again, it isn't about me but what I am to others and how have I come this far to still need work. Humbling for sure. Obviously the Joel Osteen quote I retweeted last week is still relevant, with great challenges come greater victories.



So until next week, when I should have results back…Happy Organizing!

Baylor's Treehouse

Blank Page! Blank Page!

Found on my desk



Why don’t you write yourself? I am riddled with too many things that take my focus. I am, like most of my clients, easily distractible. I compound that by saying “uh-huh I can do that” or offering advice that gets me involved in the action quite often.
I am not complaining, because I truly enjoy doing lots of different things but when they all come due in the same 3 week period I think…“are you serious?”. This week will be one of those weeks…many different threads of tasks, deadlines and busy work are all on completely different topics and completely due!
At the same time I have my family very much front of mind. My dad is literally wasting away before my eyes and had a very bad fall last week. I have been following Ramona Creel’s (one the top professional organizers and very respected women in my industry) account of losing her mother suddenly, I mean with in a few months, being 38 she expresses how she feels “orphaned”. I find myself talking differently about what my future holds with my parents and even how my relationship with sisters will surely be strained. I wonder if we are strong enough to walk through it all together without pulling off too many scabs from our childhood mostly based in random meaningless sister bickering. Realizing we are all at different stations in our lives will require some care and navigation not to mention mutual respect. I get a little bitter because I feel like am I really dealing with this at 36?
So sorrow seems to always be lurking like that banana peel…not sure if leaving in a few weeks in Arkansas is going to be a good idea or not. Never mind that my husband and I have not had a vacation together alone since Owen was born when we left for New Years 2005. I worry that this trip will be like many others we have taken in our time together where we leave only to find Dad was rushed to the hospital in our absence and they‘ve been trying to get a hold of us. Dad is having a procedure Tuesday to fix two fractures in his lower back.
Then I shrug it off…it will be fine. We have lots of time left together. I move on to the next little emergency my brain brings forth. The radio show content for Tues. My riding lessons for Wednesday. Thursday’s blog. Women’s conference stuff. Arkansas trip packing list and instructions for the boys. Submitting to the call for speakers deadline Sept. 30. Renewing my NARHA membership this week. Sanding with Jaime on Tuesday. Baylor’s Birthday Thursday! The decorating class and AUM class material! AGGHHHH!!!
I find myself walking around the house one end to the other contemplating where I should start next. Frustrated I get angry because I should have been more organized!
When I was in high school I attended a performing arts school for art. I was always told by my teacher Bee Lee and Patsy to work AROUND the page. That phrase comes to mind as I walk down the hallway for the 25^th time wondering if I want to bust out the fall clothes under the bed and get them hung up or not. I SHOULD vacuum again today to stay ahead but it can wait until tomorrow. I gained control on Thursday and I intend to keep it a week at least, right?
This week I am going to stick to working around the page every day…I have so much going on and must force myself to focus. And as a continued theme for this blog…no matter what is going on in my life I must always remember to appreciate my NOW. And right now my little all boy family is dancing in celebration that the floor of my son’s new tree house is nearly complete!! My heart warms at the thought of how lucky I am! And then there is that new kid thing we keep tossing around. Our lives could be different this time next year for sure. In many ways. Can’t worry about that now. Back to focus…
I will handle everything as it comes, one day at a time. I can’t worry with all of life’s what ifs all at once. No one can! I’m just trying to get some stuff done today not discover the meaning of life, right?
　
Anyway…my point is I’m distracted today. I have reached joy in my life at a level most folks don’t get to. I think the uneasiness I feel today is knowing adversity is always lurking around waiting to test my flexibility. I will get it all done…I always do. Just shake it off, focus and keep working around my page. See? It worked…it filled itself up!!! How do you eat an elephant? ONE- BITE- AT -A TIME
　
Don't forget to visit http://www.ramonacreel.com/