Reflection!

Every day I read... a lot! From all your posts to multiple blogs and lots of articles published referencing anything from A-Z. Today, it seems we all have a common thread running through out our lives. We are all collectively ready to put this year behind us.
All of us on some level have dealt with unpleasantness and pain, things dealt in our hand that were a bunch of no fun.
It is nice to see such optimism. Feeling everyone's hope for a better year is such a refreshing feeling.  Knowing that we are ready to put the past behind us and move on without looking back. I think we can all agree some tough lessons were learned for sure. In the same breath we must also praise our ability to cope with our emotions as well as the courage we all posess to tell our story. The bravest thing we can do is share our strife with others. We certainly help to inspire each other with our stories of triumph. For those personal struggles of mine this year I am thankful for what they have brought me. A greater understanding of what true faith is all about. I have never felt more in touch with my priorities than I do right now at this moment. There is strength in my convictions like never before. I am truly excited to see what God has in store for me next and I leave it completely up to Him.
As we spend our last few hours of reflection, let's toast those hardships for leaving a burn in our belly to continue moving forward, Happy New Year!

diggin in for 2011!

One of the perks of my career is seeing what happens on the other side of pushing through. I usually start with a client who is in despair, feeling very cautious about what to expect and by the end of a few days that person is more confident and at ease about letting go and living in the moment.

Something I have always tried to do for my clients is to witness their collection of desires. Recognizing what they have collected and its pattern along with listening to what they value most. Often, I can realize a hidden passion or a longing to pursue a dream. Just like I can tell after organizing a closet what colors you like or not. A lot of folks don't really like to wear yellow I have found.

By organizing my clients and often times realizing those dreams I am able to discuss options for taking their first steps into a new business. Sometimes they may not have even thought of connecting the dots but mostly I find they are stuck with the how-to part.

Every year I teach several components to the students in AUM's Interior Decorating program, one of them being client communications. Fortunately I have worked with many advertising agencies and planned annual marketing schedules for automotive dealers as well as real estate agencies. Planning your campaign is the most important thing you can do for your business.

With my clients I am able to discuss objectives and establish goals along with time frames to achieve these things. They are left with new motivation along with new tools to begin these ventures. In the recent How-To guides that were popular with last month's package it occurred to me, it's nice to have a map!

I have established someones home office and set them up to create and market on more than one occasion and happy to say my most recent success was a dear friend that I knew wanted to be more creative in her life. I clearly understand the importance of social media and online tools as I network with professional organizers from across the country and stay up to date on what's working and what is not.

A lot of times you have everything you need, just not sure where you should start. Sometimes we can even sabotage our own desires by repeating behavior patterns that are not productive. We are so overwhelmed by ideas and plans that we short circuit in the getting-around-to-it phase.

Having been a business owner for the last seven years I have tried a lot of things and love sharing my successes and failures with others. The number one reward for me is helping someone figure out their mission statement in life. What is even better is when I can prevent someone from making a two steps back mistake.

I feel truly blessed to have been able to pursue my goals and I am excited to venture into new territory this year with my art and providing more coaching and consulting with my services. Lula's not going to be doing very much physical work, it will be limited.

Working in media advertising for several years I was able to benefit from top selling techniques from Gannett Corp., parent company of USA Today. I have relied on this training in my own business along with the tools we use to teach Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and happy to share that motivation with others. I have decided to put all my passions together and create a small business consultation service along side the organizational aspect.

At the same time I realize I am in no way done with my own growth and discovery. By counseling others I am able to provide myself constant encouragement from the bravery I see. People helping people is what it's all about! Creating a sense of community is essential to a small business.

So, if you have that idea, something nagging at you after all the lists are done for the day...but just not sure how to take the first step, take advantage of our January small business package. Receive coaching from me along with organizational tips for setting up and running your home based business ( a $500 value ) the entire month of January for $150.

Receive a complete two hour consultation along with follow up for 3 months to ensure you hit your goals for $300.
For those of you that desire a personal home organization consultation, Lula will continue December's package of a 90 min-two hour consultation plus "how-to" guide for $100.

For questions you may contact me at melissa@lulagrace.com or 334-799-4598. Thank you to all the great folks who supported Lula in 2010, it was a great year, but lessons learned for sure! Happy to say 2011 looks like it is going to start with a bang, so call today to book your appointment!! Wishing you much success in the New Year!!!!!!!!

**Small business package available state wide, personal organization package limited to Walker County residents only.

CONTEST!!!!

Refer the most friends to our Facebook page :

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Lulagrace-Organized-Interiors/123242845254

and enter to win this "Lead Without Limits" water bottle from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University!!

Help us get to 500 Likes....refer the most friends to our page by Jan. 5th, make sure they enter your name on our wall to register you for the free drawing!!

being emotionally healthy and Merry Christmas!

Reading a few Katherine Center quotes this week I felt overwhelmed with heartache. Sometimes her words are so deep that they take me by surprise. You realize feelings that were there but not verbalized yet. She beats you to
profound self realizations.

Its a good thing because you get there quicker. I have discovered many writers, bloggers and other folks of inspiration this year that have really helped me make sense of my "self". Not that I'm so challenged in knowing who I am, but just making sense of me and why I'm here. I feel sometimes like I have lived with a broken heart for a long time. Over what ...I couldn't say in particular. Just events throughout my life and childhood that steered me one way or another. Regret over mistakes, opportunities I've blown because I'm stubborn. Basically, whenever I have not listened to Him and His plan for me.
And heartache as a topic has always intrigued me. When I am listening to Ryan Adams (my 2nd husband) Bayne claims something must be wrong with me, why am I listening to such sad music if I'm fine. Soulful lyrics are so beautiful to me, much like a great painting or a beautiful landscape. There is beauty in the molding of a human spirit. And I can just relate to melancholy sometimes better. I 've even researched it a little. I think it is because I know I better get prepared for it and I intensely want to prevent myself from falling apart when it comes. After all, I am an easy crier!!
Come to find out if you bing "Living with Heartache" you quickly discover you have simply nothing on other people. Somewhere there is always someone else in the throws of losing a child, a spouse, a parent, even a pet. I am preparing for that very thing in my life and I want to be strong. My father has been some form of ill since I was 10. As I ponder having a baby after 35, just like my mother did, will I be creating a child surely to lose a parent in their prime as I will. How can you expect someone to grieve your loss while they are still trying to figure out who they are. So often I think, will my Dad be here when Baylor graduates in another 10 years?
Next December will be the 20th anniversary of my sweet Grandmother Lula's passing. I lost both of my grandparents the same year before I graduated. How are my boys going to feel about losing possibly both of them before they graduate?

(my Dad this summer with great-niece Isabella)

I would feel that I was exaggerating but I get messages from home that all is not well. It has been the case for several years. But he has had a horrible tumble since I saw him last and  hear it wasn't pretty. Now words like fragile, feeble, weak are part of the vocabulary, so it isn't what I want it to be, but it's quite possibly "time". My mother also hasn't recovered from a fall 3 yrs ago leaving her unable to walk.
As I prepare to make a trip home tomorrow it is overwhelming to think that maybe I don't want to go at all. Do I want to go home and see what kind of shape they are in? Certainly not. I feel I have worked so hard at becoming emotionally healthy since my young adulthood that surely I can buck up and go home. But its sensitive to me and frankly speaking I'm a little afraid. Its my parents. I have a 5 year old! How do you say "Soak Poppy up boys, he could be gone in a flash!"

On the immediate home front I have this Maltese, Luckie, who is aging rapidly and has recently dropped a lot of weight. I have called finally after my husband has urged me to make some sort of decision soon. Its $45 to have him put to sleep. A final no return home from the vet's office. As I look at him now he is quite sad, but the UPS guy still sends him into a frenzy and he displays the gusto of a 3 year old puppy. He is definitely a grouch, a lot like my sweet Daddy. I compare Luckie to Poppy quite often actually. I will make the decision soon...its Christmas after all. I look at lil Luckie now and think I can't imagine placing a $45 price tag on his life. But I hate to see him suffer just like I will hate to see my Daddy suffer. No easy answer...heartache's set a bead on me.

For this Christmas, I am going to show them both and all my family all the love I can...I'm fast trying to get myself to a point of being emotionally able to process their loss. I haven't been able to fathom it to this point. I am thankful I have had this year of self reflection to learn to appreciate my now and the most important lesson that "perfectionism" is not necessarily a good trait to have. Things are going to fall apart. Prepare for it.
As I peak at my Christmas gift to myself that has just arrived, Ordinary Courage by Dr. Brene Brown, I am filled with optimism again. First sentence in preface...
            "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do."
As I close this year I commit to  making  2011 my bravest year yet, whatever may come!!
Thank you for following Lula's Grace, I love to read your comments, keep them coming!!! 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

New Beginnings!

When I was in junior high school there was nothing I wanted more than to be accepted into Carver Creative Performing Arts Center or CCPAC. I applied, was accepted and began my 10th grade year feeling like an artist at the FAME school!
It was probably the greatest opportunity of my life. I entered competition, had excellent accomplished instructors, met other young folks like myself and was encouraged to apply to art colleges in the southeast. I did, I applied at Savannah College of Art and Design, Memphis College of Art and ofcourse the local college. My folks decided I was not to attend an out of state school so I went to the local college and majored in graphic arts.

I hated it. Quite literally...it sucked me dry of inspiration. I longed to be in an environment that thrived on art and culture. So I quit. Decided that was obviously not my path. I eventually got a degree in liberal arts after 8 years. I like to say I am a mile wide and an inch deep. I know a little something about lots of different stuff...like the fall of technology in the Soviet Union and can discuss in depth 5 Shakespearean plays as I took a Shakespeare in Production class, loved it!

It has taken me nearly 20 years to decide I want to be involved with art again. I picked up a brush when my oldest was born and painted something for his room but it still has taken 8 years to bring that to the surface. I'm ready now. I also feel I have so much inside me that visually needs to come out.

I think the most crucial decision in my life was when I took the attitude I was not good enough to go to one of those awesome schools so why try? I have spent so much of this year reflecting and trying to decide what type of "adult" I want to be in a few years when I turn 40.

So we are gonna try and get back to it...I'll keep you posted what is to come. Gonna attempt to paint up some Christmas gifts for my sisters and mother. Who knows what will happen when I break out a piece of canvas again!

Interesting to see when you trace the steps in which you came you can usually find your own answers.

Ponderings of 2010, next week last blog of year!

This is the last working week for me of 2010. Kids get outta school on Friday and I am done til Jan. 5th 2011. It is so nice to take a long break, visit family, but mostly take time for reflecting and make plans for 2011. This was again, a Christmas that snuck up on me. Not even sure I will be able to commit myself to getting out Christmas cards. I felt incredibly inadequate at the raising of the gingerbread houses last Friday and have let the week's adventures leave my brain like mush. I simply am not sure if I can process any-thing else. We have committed to less this year, tried to make family first, stay within our lil budget plan and make good decisions during the holidays, but the weariness of another year coming to an end can wreak a little havoc on emotions.

"The Happiness Project" has been difficult to do this month, it is committing to ALL the work you've been doing all this year every day of the month. I am looking onward next year to a new reading list. Confident in what I have learned these last 12 months from Mrs. Rubin.

First is one of my favorite new bloggers and artists Kelly Rae Roberts Taking Flight: Inspiration And Techniques To Give Your Creative Spirit Wings and to be followed by Dr. Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are .

While I am working on the last blog post of the year, I seem to keep hitting on a few themes: living with integrity; living with more creativity; seek new inspiration; appreciate what I have; spend more quality time with my family; and to be more spirit led.

Next weekend I head home to S. Alabama for the first time since school started. Very Sad! I have never been that long without seeing my family. Homesick? My favorite line in Kings of Leon's song Radioactive...
"It's in the water...
It's in the story
It's where you came from
The sons and daughters
In all their glory
It's gonna shape them
And when they clash
And come together
And start rising
Just drink the water
Where you came from...
Where you came from"


Feels good to go home, feels better to love being in your own home, Next year's theme I can go ahead and say will have lots to do with "home"! Hope you will continue to follow us through the next transition of our lives. I mean, people, there could be chickens, raised gardens, and even a new baby.

Lulagrace Organized Interiors, may be experiencing some changes. Things to be modified in life to allow new things to continue to come in it. I may do mostly consulting, haven't made a full commitment. Those who need me usually find me with little assistance. As I have done this now for a minute, I think it is fair to dedicate more time to my family, my nest, applying all that Ive learned from the amazing clients I have had over the last 6 years. Not necessarily saying I am no longer organizing/decorating, just only for a few that I feel called to work for. There are some that can't be helped, they don't really want it. It is rude to say" You know you could be prospering by now, but you keep hanging on to all this stuff" so politeness leads you to decline.

My biggest lesson this year, crazy is not a goal of mine, "looking perfect does not perfection make". Perfection is also not an attribute of good character...merely a symptom of fear. I feel empowered to have this inside knowledge that I still see so many run around frazzled thinking that it is going to pan out well for them...I was scared my problem with perfectionism was going to lead me to a heart attack. So I am really trying to chill it on down now. My new mantra to the women I meet..."SLOW DOWN!"

So until next week's post....I'm off to ponder!

Finishing my "Happiness Project"- Self reflection

This month I will be reflecting on an entire year of transformation. I have turned my thoughts towards the new year and have a gut feeling that 2011 will be my best yet!

Having gone through what I've gone through this year I feel a complete shift in my DNA. A change of heart about having a third child, turns out I do! A change in how and who I intend to do business with in this new small town I've been thrust upon. How far Im willing to travel to work. My health...oh thats a big one too! God and my family come first. And while I've been sacrificing them for far too long to help those that call on me I have worked all year on finding balance.

My parents have aged considerably this year...all while I've relocated 3 hours north to them. I haven't been present with my first family in quite a while. I intend to be more "present" with them in the new year. It really has been difficult being away from home for the first time ever and with my dad soon turning 80 I need to get with that!

My husband and I are changing and settling into our mature selves these days. Our boys are bigger we are able to experience so much more now as a family. Life is so good, but I feel I haven't appreciated it up until this point.

I've been following Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" all year. Excited it will soon be a real tv show with "Charlotte" from SNCity series as Gretchen herself. I tried to even get my methodist women's circle to follow it as well, however,  I was the only one who stuck it through and boy am I glad I did.

I have reflected on it so much throughout the year that I feel it is somewhat a bible or guide to help me in life to be the better wife, mom, sister, friend, etc.

This is my last month, sad but true, and this month's resolution is to follow the way of perfection acting with greater love. By learning to do the loving thing, to learn to be grateful, practice humility, listen and laugh, don't top, forget scorecards, no calculation, loving thoughts actions and words, putting aside anger and resentment...and most of all be happy. Tall order!!! But she hasn't let me down so far and I've changed a lot of my inner nature and discovered quite a lot about myself these last 11 months.

My long time clients, the ones I have built a true relationship with and feel concern in their well being I have realized I keep telling them the same thing Im trying to tell myself.
SLOW DOWN!!!! Stop driving yourself in the ground!!! For WHAT!!!!! I 've taken the whole year to work on just that and feel Im coming to the peak of a wonderful discovery.

I have decided that if I am going to anticipate pregnancy next year, continue working with the horsefarm and painting furniture with my best friend I will surely make changes to fit all those things into my life. By subtracting those things that don't bring me complete joy...like sifting through some strangers belongings and getting into the nasty stuff that caused me a staph infection years ago (my Hoarders Anonymous clients) and bringing my body down over and over again to marathon organize at the same time I feel the desire to say YES to everything I'm asked to do...Im going to stick with what I said earlier in the year. No more! I will organize for a select few who truly need me, consult for everyone else and as the new year rolls around I have decided to offer productivity coaching as one of my services. As this has been something I have already done for years as a professional organizer and time management coach I only seek to help folks help themselves. I would love everyone I come in contact with to the know more joy with less stress, God's love and forgiveness and the comfort in their heart that they are enough. I have been encouraged by others who know me well and feel this is something I want to pursue. Not a life coach but a "get back on track" coach.
As I said 2011 is going to be a great year, I know it because He has planned it for me and I gave Him the reins earlier in the summer and that's that!

For more information on The Happiness Project
visit http://www.happiness-project.com/

New Organizing Show on Style!

Most of you are familiar that during the week I was promoting a friend and fellow professional organizer here locally in the Birmingham area named Amanda LeBlanc. Her company, The Amanda's, self-titled 30 min reality show special just aired last night and I am so exciting to see what is next for her.

In the spirit of Jeff Lewis, Amanda tackles everything with precision and nothing less than perfection. Her attention to detail and ability to assemble a team that mirrors her expectations does her great service.

I think that in the history of "organizing" shows it has been very obvious that the entire segment was masterfully produced and the "professionals" are actors. I have had to do a double take when I've seen them in a commercial or hosting another show.

The Go -to Guy from Clean House, a comedian. Both Trish and Neicy, actors. I miss Linda Cooper- Smith, she was authentic for sure. But one thing was clear, it was not necessarily all reality done in a 36 hour period. Weeks and weeks of planning go into each and every show.

The Amandas is a more accurate portrayal of what we professional organizers do. We enter each consultation with no idea what we are walking into. In every situation there is going to be something unexpected that takes place throwing you off your original plan of action. It is a professional organizers responsibility to manage the project from beginning to end. There is no getting exhausted and quitting til its more convenient. It has to be done. In order to manage an extensive team of support, organizers have to be optimum time managers. Some folks may take Amanda's approach at dealing with her staff a tad too rigid. But it is that exact quality that makes her team a success.

As an individual organizer who has had assistants from time to time but never a full time staff, I in no way represent that I could manage a "staff" of support. So hats of to her for that feat alone. When we lived in Montgomery I taught at a local college a class on interior decorating that gave me an intern for one week each session. I would plan my "messy room contests" around when I would have my interns each year. Subbing out work to other organizers can be even more difficult because you are managing someone who has no loyalty to your business.

I am most proud of Amanda and her team of professionals. She is what I consider "Big Time" and certainly one of the prettiest organizers across the country. Some folks just really work well on the small screen and I believe it does suit her. When you do what you love your enthusiasm shows through. Having been a person who has had much and lost much I tend to forget at times that she really has experienced the "ultimate purge" as she said in her show.
Losing everything, literally everything, in Hurricane Katrina little more than 5 yrs ago now. How can you not listen to her discuss her desire to help folks with their  unhealthy attachments to "stuff" and not take it to heart.

I'm behind her 100% of the way! I am happy to see the real organizers stepping up and getting the spotlight. Those like myself that do it because we were born to do it, not just because it's the newest trend, some new get rich quick scheme, or someone who just wants a "side job".  I look forward to seeing more and if you would too let the Style Network know it! If you missed it I have included a link below to go to clips of the show.

http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/videos/v91519_the-amandas-ultimate-purge.html

Don't miss it!!!!

There are folks that are just made for TV and my friend and fellow professional organizer, amanda LeBlanc, is one of them!! please don't miss her reality special premiering tomorrow night on E's Style Network!!! If you like the show....let Style! Know!!

 

 

 

Local Company to have 30 minute Reality Special on the Style Network

 

Birmingham's own, The Amandas Professional Organizing, will be featured in a 30 minute reality show special on The Style Network November 17^th at 11pm/10pm ct.

 

The special will follow owner and organizer extraordinaire Amanda LeBlanc and her team of organizers as they transform the life of one lucky family.

 

 

For interviews please contact:

Dustin Canez 205.970.1087 or

Amanda LeBlanc 504.234.7197

 

 

Meet Amanda LeBlanc

Amanda is a certified professional organizer with the skill and passion to help people across the United States get organized. Amanda set out in 2003 to help people achieve their goal of organization and she has been raising the bar ever since.  She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers.  As a member of NAPO, Amanda serves on the Education Committee as Task Team Manager, the Associate Committee as well as serving as a chair of NAPO’s Strategic Task Force.  She is also a member of the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization Toastmasters International, and the Vestavia Hills Chamber of Commerce where she currently serves as an ambassador. Amanda is active in the community donating material and time for Habitat for Humanity and the Birmingham Junior League Bargain Carousel.

Amanda’s team of organizers, affectionately known as The Amandas, have 25 years combined experience organizing homes across the Southeast and the Czech Republic.  The Amandas appear regularly on morning shows in both Birmingham and New Orleans giving tips and suggestions to viewers.  The Amandas have been featured on HGTV.com, Birmingham Home and Garden, Birmingham Magazine, Women’s World, as well as many other regional and national publications.

Amanda, her husband Dr. Dan LeBlanc, and their children currently live in Birmingham, Alabama.

 

Victory and Privacy

My husband and I have been at odds lately over my content. My recent blog when I asked my husband his first thoughts he said, "It's good but not your best". I sensed a little frustration and after he preceded to break down two beds and swap their rooms I discovered why. I know I'm hard to live with, I fully expect that so urge him to express himself but this....let's just say I wasn't prepared. But I thought about it, I was gonna figure it out on my own.

Having been a blogger for the past 4 years with http://www.onlineorganizing.com/ I had always focused every piece on organization. As a new "stay -at- home/work-from-home" mompreneur I was sharing what I was learning. I shared all my time savings tricks and tips from my kickin it old school 50's housewife mother Betty. And a few tried and true practices by Grandmother Lula herself. Not only did I want to be a great advice giver of efficiency I also desired to balance burning my candles at both ends. Why could'nt I do it all!?!

In June of this year, for the very first time, I shared personal pieces over the breast biopsy they had attempted two times and the surgery that followed. That was a life changing experience for me. My husband was fine about the full disclosure and felt it therapeutic for me to do so. We have moved to a small town and my writing has become very mainstreet. How much do we share about our own lives. As it turned out I decided to share everything about that experience because I felt if it had been cancer I would want to document this all for some future reference. Okay, no cancer, praise Jesus,  life goes on to normal. But I put a lot of stuff out there...and it felt freeing and warm. I released it. Like pieces of paper burned and tossed in the sea. Think there was a movie I watched in International Film Study at AUM that had that very scene. Marlon Brando and something about Tea.
Anyway, writing my thoughts allowed me to quickly process, decide a plan of action about how I'm going to deal with that feeling and then poof! Let it go.
So now we've moved on to talking about wanting a new baby. Now my husband isn't sure he wants me to put that out there. I must love and respect his wishes and I understand there should be some sense of privacy. My first reaction says okay no more baby talk "on-air" until there is one. But now I've been diagnosed with MRSA staph and well that's gonna change some things in my life, like... I'm thinking of going vegan. This blog is about making sense of my life and my business (aren't they really the same thing?).
I have to mention I'm also sensitive because I watched Zenyatta lose a 19 time winning streak and get beat by a nostril and a boy in the Breeder's Cup. No matter what she still goes down as the fastest filly of all time! Lots of expectations to perform placed on that horse. Never in history had their been a crowd of over 100,000 cheering fans and flashbulbs. Doesn't make her any less of a winner that she lost, she has talent.
So, while riding this big palomino today that has a kind heart and an old soul...we walked, and I thought, and here's what I got....

                     I'm gonna talk about wanting a baby; because I want one

                     I'm gonna talk about living with MRSA; because I live with MRSA

I'm gonna talk about being more organized; because I want to be

I'm gonna share my life; so I can testify to the glory of God

But I will only speak VICTORY over any of it!!!!

Actually, I can't take the credit for that last one...that was my husband's request after speaking to him about it. He hasn't minded the open window to our life just praise it and speak triumph over whatever the case may be. And I intend to honor it!!



Don't forget to Fall Back!

As we wake this morning to sunshine instead of darkness I feel anticipation like never before. I have been absent a little lately from writing because I have not had a direction that felt right. I have written a few blogs, some were a little angry because I was at the time, some too personal, some made no sense at all. So I have tossed the last three and am turning the page. One thing about living in a small town, you run into your blog readers at Wal-mart or carpool quite often.You know the people in your community. You go to church with them.  It has been a little difficult lately to write freely. To see so many contradictions in my surroundings, to witness behaviors that I would love to talk about in my blog but would reveal some one's story if I did. This blog is published in several different places weekly. Being able to talk to anonymous folks in the blogosphere is therapeutic but quite another story to put your business or your friend's on main street in Smallville, USA. I miss my anonymity.
 I say all that to encourage myself to publish this blog which is going to be extremely personal to me. To take the risk and put my life out there as testimony.

I live with staph,  I contracted it from a clients home many years ago and have battled it ever since. I wrote a 2 page blog a few weeks ago with the intention of getting that off my chest then. I manage my outbreaks, I try and take all the proper precautions to lower my exposure. I hate having it and would really just love to hold up in my house until it's gone but can't do that. After the surgery in June I had several infections and it took over a month to get past. Then after starting work back around the barn I had one come up on my thigh the end of August. It has left a scar. When an active infection hits I take care of it properly and get back on meds but they can sometimes make you feel weak and you tend to end up in the bed anyway. My energy gets zapped and I get all achy. Kinda like having the flu. Then there is the pain of the infection itself. Not to mention how it makes me feel around other people. I worry about how they will treat me, after all it's gross to me too.
This past Friday I had a small cyst I had developed a few years ago removed from my scalp and as precaution we decided on a round of antibiotics to keep me going strong. In this discussion of what to prescribe this time I found out the last culture from the wound on my thigh had come back MRSA. Hmmmm...first time I've ever been told that...always thought it was regular staph. Maybe it had been until just recently.
We want a baby, soon....MRSA always says "deadly" when you google it...and words like infant abnormalities...cesarean...all these words are popping up when I search "MRSA in pregnancy". But then other articles talk about all the advances in the medicines to treat it while pregnant. So we have to get ourselves educated for sure.
I am going to immerse myself in getting my immune system amped up. I'm going to talk to my doctor and do my research. I have been preaching for the last year that I am going to lower my stress, quit taking on so much, space out my work so I don't over do it. Decreasing stress decreases outbreaks.  I need a happy healthy functioning immune system. I have been "talking" for months about just consulting from here on out with Lula.To volunteer less help. But we all know I have struggled with that and haven't gained much ground. I am likely going to be making major changes this January concerning how I run my business. Its time to stop "talking" about making the change and DO IT!
Sometimes we have these great ambitions, these strong desires only to come up short with disappointment. I'm disappointed for sure that I can't live how I want when I want, but I have a strong foundation of family and friends to fall back on who will keep me well advised. We'll get through it and if a baby is in our future then I know God is watching over us and I have complete faith in His plan.

It takes Patience!

We are just coming off a 4 day camping trip to a bluegrass festival communing with thousands of strangers. Our first vacation without children in 5 years, we were cut off from communicating via laptop or cell phone due to lack of service. So off we went to have fun and create new bonds with new friends. It is rare to find a couple you get along with much less two other people that you could stand for 4 days of primitive camping with 5000 other folks, 7 1/2 hours away. It was a first for us but worthwhile for sure.
While sitting at the tent after sending our younger whipper-snapper friends out for the evening (because I can't stay out past midnite anymore or I turn into a pumpkin) we could sit back and talk. My husband took this opportunity to express some concerns. We want to have a new baby but I am unable to say no to anything that crosses my path. He fears the stress it will put on me if I stay at the pace I've been traveling at for the past few years. I  think we both know it is because I fear I will miss an opportunity. To do what I never know, but I've always been this way and that's that. Everyone that knows me well gets frustrated by this disability I have of not being able to say no. I keep saying I’m gonna stop doing it, but it doesn’t happen. I have been saying that for years and have not had a period of time where I said ok phone hasn’t rung in a month. Lets shut it down, I‘m gonna go be that housewife now! I want to be, but somehow JUST being that housewife makes me fear being ordinary. I know I am not alone in this sentiment as I do not want to offend those homemakers that do it with finesse. I truly inside WANT to be just a housewife! But then this inability to stop and smell the roses keeps me from it. I know my attention span is short but some weeks it is truly sad.  I just haven’t been successful in finding that perfect balance since I've been working from home for over 5 years.
I always try and keep the mentality that if I do a little bit of everything all at once I can maintain more over time. But I fail to realize so much of my day is already promised to other things. Just because there is a space on the day planner it doesn’t mean I’m free. It means that I very likely have laundry, dishes, cleaning the toilets, putting up the clean laundry, washing the dog, mailing bills, doing Lula paperwork, doing EASI paperwork, blog, radio stuff, class stuff….blah blah blah blah blah blah…2 days post vacation I am just as freaked out as ever over what has to happen in 48 hours. WHAT is seriously wrong with me!???? And I think I want to have a baby in the next 12-18 months??? Im NUTS obviously. It is like I have to have someone tell me just STOP! I asked my husband, after listing all the things I had gotten myself into in 24 hours, if that was “an extreme amount of stuff to keep up with in one day.”
His answer never fails…”Ya Think?”
Am I ever gonna be able to practice what I preach about slowing down?
Am I ever gonna be able to prioritize and balance my own life?
What do I even want?
Dr. Brene Brown states in one her speeches that we suffer from this busy extreme disorder to avoid being vulnerable. I totally agree. I think that when we create a perfect bubble of what all we can do and how much we can handle we are really trying to surround ourselves with this force field that nothing bad will happen to us. It never works out though. We all know those bubbles eventually burst and we have to deal with the pain and suffering. But as she suggests, if we have these reservoirs of “Joy” built up in our system we can bounce back that much easier from strife.
Joel Osteen is at this very moment telling me to talk to my mountains. Hmmm…I’ve prayed for God to help me figure it out but I’ve never actually talked TO those things that cause me anxiety. I think I fail to say no because I don’t want people to be disappointed in me. And when I have said no, usually it comes with some criticism or guilt from the person I say no to.
As I sit reflecting on my day of therapy lessons, grooming, packing lunches, dealing with a constipated child at the doctor who is going to need a flushing this weekend to clear him out, writing content for tomorrow’s class and Thursday’s blog I hit on one thing….
After working with this one horse at the therapy farm I have wanted to throw in the towel a few times after weeks of ground work because sometimes I step wrong and send him mixed signals from what his previous training was. I feel like there is this huge communication barrier sometimes with him and then I remember what I’ve been taught…it takes patience. I begin thinking …ya know, today was the first day that he didn’t flinch at me when I entered his stall. He didn’t mind me grooming him, he didn’t mind me being in his personal space. He seemed to lean toward me more and be more attentive to where I was going. A second one while laying down rested his head on my lap and breathed in my skin like we were good friends. I am starting to see that I am being accepted in the herd. I am trusted. It feels nice to see patience paying off.
As it is with everything else, there is no such thing as instant results. Like the patience I have to have with that horse I should have the same amount with myself. I know my inner nature and my previous training and it will take some time for me to stop flinching. I am going to keep shucking the dead weight even if it is just one thing at a time. I am focusing so much on taking it one day at a time that I forget it will all happen...eventually. It won't stay like this forever.  I can do this! I see clearer and clearer everyday what is important to me and where my passion and talents lie. Being able to focus on these things, being grateful for what I have and practicing patience I pray leads me to learning to say no to the things that do not bring me complete joy. Leaving me with only what I love and desire remaining in my basket.
De-cluttering your spirit is much like de-cluttering your home…it takes patience, it takes determination and it takes lots and lots of maintenance!

Can your commitment be renewed in one weekend?

Aaggggghh!!!! Monday morning! I sit in bed this morning contemplating the 5-6 pages I have started writing lists on in a small notebook beside my laptop. I keep thinking about what I witnessed this weekend and then flip flop to what I have ahead of me to accomplish before I leave for Arkansas Wednesday. I have to get some of this out of my head and onto the page. I feel a little anxious at the knew knowledge I have now. I am in fresh from our community’s Fall RefresHER Christian Women’s conference where I spent Friday evening and Saturday morning with nearly 75 women to grow and practice being present together in Christ.
Having a small performance with my bestie at the beginning of the conference I wasn’t really able to place too much expectation on the event as I was mainly focused on not throwing up a little since I was gonna be on stage…performing a Christian rap no doubt! We rocked it with a little adjustment here and there! I kinda knew we could do it but then anything can happen. I could have tripped on a mic cord, busting a tooth on the stage or something else just as embarrassing. I enjoy getting to do the things that were fun in high school and college like organizing events but “acting” was NEVER one of my talents.
After that was done…I was able to settle down and begin paying attention. God was there all weekend, working his hand in all that we did. It was really quite amazing. Most of you ( if you read me weekly which you SHOULD!) know that my husband and I changed our lives 5 years ago when we dedicated ourselves to Jesus and picked up our orders for purposeful living. I was amazed at the amount of peace in my heart. Most of the testimonies and speeches I heard gave validation to what I knew all along about how we should look at our opportunities. We really should see them as opportunities to delight the Lord. Just as I think I have also almost mastered trying to do that, I realize it is surely time to move on into something new. I know He is ready for me to grow and just like watching Jennifer Hudson’s “Behind the Music” I feel truly renewed and ready to embrace whatever the change!
On a side note -
Did you know that it was a natural disaster that took all the phone lines out in her hometown that prevented her peeps from calling in to Idol and voting for her another week? Did you know that she was the one who had to identify her 7 year old nephew’s body? And that her first performance back following that horrible ordeal was to sing the compelling song
“You Pulled Me Through” at the Grammys? A song she wrote BEFORE the tragic death of her brother, mother and nephew.

“You gave my faith back, faith was so hard to find
You gave me my life back, you were my lifeline
The love that you gave me is love that has saved me
Your strength is what made me strong
You held me and I held on”

“I held on“…wow!! I mean God’s grace is truly amazing! Look at her today. I sat this weekend, as the equally fabulous to Jennifer Hudson, Miss Kim Dunn led praise and worship for us. She spoke words from her heart that could only have come as a result of God’s finger dabbling in what was to be an extraordinary two days for us. I think all were moved, I know we all became closer and all felt refreshed in the spirit!
More than ever, I leave with the full intent to stop fighting those things that I realize now are just my natural tendencies, embrace those things that are really talents, stop trying to fit into other’s expectations of me and to truly find JOY in all that I do. As always I am committed to enjoying my now.
So where’s my right now?? Acccck!!! If I really think about it I will freak: a 20 person field trip; a radio show; a new class to begin teaching; another new class to begin teaching. In TWO days! We leave Wednesday evening to go enjoy 3 days of camping, good music, and better fellowship. I will return surely revived and ready to settle down and get back to work.
My mother asked me on the phone just last night…”okay now (most authoritative voice she has), when you get back??” Open ended to surely prompt my own reply first…I said “ I know, I am”. I understand, I have been scolded lately by husband and mother for the over committing that has been happening lately. I agree!

Recommended Reading

Join the Perfect Protest!

Visit http://www.brenebrown.com/ or http://www.ordinarycourage.com/ to join the perfection protest!!!

Here is mine!

Where is the Instruction Manual?

Through out my years as an organizer and business owner I have had many women approach me for advice. When I lived in Montgomery I was fortunate enough to have an intern twice a year through the Interior Decorating program at Auburn University of Montgomery where I still teach. Interns had to spend approximately 20 hours with me. You get to know someone pretty quick.
I was always amazed at how many questions they had and how they were hoping someone would tell them the secret to success. I had those questions too. I’ve learned only through trial and error that there is no secret to success.
You have to first discover your talents. If you are unaware of your gift from God you have no idea how to interpret your purpose, right? It takes a lot of self awareness. Often times there is no other way to gain self awareness except through some major life crisis.
After some soul searching to decipher the hidden meaning in any life changing event we are stronger, hopefully able to trust ourselves more and ask the questions necessary to encourage us to take the right fork in the road.
But we must be flexible. Plans can change, quickly! I’ve always been proud of my ability to zag when others are still zigging…I am a fast learner and am always aware of my damage factor. For months I have been trying to redefine myself in this new town. Montgomery had a population of over 202,000, our new town…under 15,000. Oh yea, it’s different!
My stand still is that I have been driven for several years now. Once we moved I still found myself traveling the 2 hours to Montgomery for clients even in this second year. In this new place, the emergency brake has been pulled several times now.
My husband and I were talking last night, as we have been many nights lately, about this 3rd baby thing. Which has lead us to talk about our current baby. Lula has had so many growing pains. I cannot bitch about my achievements or disappointments, I am thankful for each one. That is why this blog is called Lula’s Grace…if it were not for Lulagrace (www.Lulagrace.com) I’m not sure if I would be who I am today. But if Lulagrace were to cease to be, who would I be then? Lately I have had some definite time wasters and it just completely drags you down when it isn‘t just your business it‘s your baby. I only have my time for sale. I don’t have a product that I can re-coop the costs. I love to offer free advice but since our move to a smaller town it seems a difficult situation to be in. Money ruins many relationships but I have to contribute to my family, and my time is my product. My knowledge and experience is my service.
As a business owner, of anything, you must always be ready to reinvent yourself. You must stay ahead of the trend and stay current in your education. I have not been sure if I wanted to quit, take some time off or what? My husband says I flip flop from hour to hour. It’s true!!
After really thinking about it, I have made this decision. Lulagrace is a part of me. But I’m not Lulagrace. I COULD give it up, but I love my profession and would go organize for 4 days if someone called today and needed it done, even if they were 4 hours away!

Since her creation I have never known how to exactly clock out at the end of the day. My husband has been incredibly understanding to allow me to dedicate so much of my time to this 24 hour commitment. But it is time for me to draw the line between my personal and my professional life. I need balance restored between the two.
As of Oct. 4^th I will no longer answer calls after 5pm, I will no longer return Lula emails after 5pm. I will also book out my jobs so I am only on one at a time. My business hours are 8-5 just like everyone else. I am going to start enforcing my rates and if you want free advice, you can attend the introductory free class I am teaching at FUMC beginning October 13^th.
I love you all, but ask that you respect what I do. Yes, it is a talent and ideas pouring from my mouth are part of what makes me fun to be around, but it is also my J-O-B. The ability to organize a project and “Git er Done” attitude make me a plus to any function for sure. But it is wearing me out! And it puts no money in my pocket. Not to mention incredibly unfair to my paying clients. So, sorry to rant this morning. This is why I have been uncomfortable and ill at ease for over a month. For the past week I have been up at 5am each morning with this first on my mind.
While there is no instruction manual for discovering your own passion there isn’t one for running a business either. You learn as you go. I appreciate all my clients and I love to help out when I can. I am learning to say “No, thank you!”. Please don’t be offended or take it personal when I do.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin

Treehouse Update: Completed!

Major accomplishment...chicken coop comes next!

Somebody's Been Sitting in My Pew!

Someone was in our normal pew this morning when we got to church. So we sat in front of our neighbors instead of behind them like we usually do. It felt really funny to me. I couldn’t quite get settled and it wasn’t because I had an extra kid with me that had spent the night with Baylor. I was frustrated that out of all the pews these folks had selected ours. We LOVE that spot! It is right underneath the angel that says “honor thy father and mother”.
As I sat there for the first 10-15 min I couldn’t help myself. The folks in our pew were loud and I couldn’t concentrate. It was frustrating. But then my friend Angie came and I realized we were closer to her and I could hear our Pastor and could glance back and see the whole congregation instead of being in the thick of folks sitting around us.
It got a little easier and before the end of service I actually liked this new seating arrangement. It made me think of all the other things I had been avoiding that would require some uncomfortable change. Thinking about it through the day I kept wondering how I could have been so upset in the first 10 min and completely comfortable by the end of the hour?
Change is frustrating, giving up bad habits and vices are hard. Giving up control and allowing God to have the reins is even harder on us for a little while, but then it gets easy. My husband believes immensely in the power of positive thinking and speaking fortune into your life, it really works. When we allow negative thinking of “we can’t” do something to creep in we speak our own fate.
Oddly enough the sermon today was about being able to do all things through Christ, and yes we can do all things through Christ. When you feel whole because you are confident you are making good choices, practicing humility and leading with a servants heart you show God you are ready to take on more. You are ready for the challenges and possess the patience to see things through not on your time but on His time!
It may be uncomfortable and completely out of your element to change what has been “you” for so long. You know it has to change before you can progress to the next level. Whether that is completing a degree, getting serious about a passion, making a marriage work…just do it already! The benefit and life long reward is so worth it. We have to do the work though!! And nothing worth having is easily obtained. I am thankful that my Dad instilled that in me. Haven’t always paid attention to it, have often taken the easy way. But I’ve achieved some may-jur things these last 5 years and am down right proud of them. But just like many of my previous diets, I have hit a plateau. That damn fork again!!!
Watching comedian Steve Harvey’s testimony on TBN the other night ( a replay we had previously seen) the words stuck with me…I use to live for fun and now I live for joy (not exact but a good summary). Bayne and I talked about how we were transitioning from just having fun with our life to now really experiencing JOY! It was a little like that pew the first few years but now it is full of joy and we are ready to push for more of it!
As we keep talking about having this 3^rd baby we discuss the comments other people have made to us. We know we will probably be broke-ER, we will be less likely to go on a vacation, we will be chaos to be around for sure…but anything is uncomfortable in the beginning, just like that pew.

Update on "My Happiness Project"

It is such a funny little life I lead. Really quite amazing. It isn't based in wealth or having a lot of possessions. In fact, over the last 5 years I am sad to say I have noticed I have no makeup left and certainly less clothing, my former shoe collection breaks my heart and just TRY to find a matching pair of earrings. I have noticed around me that I have actually narrowed down how much we have these days, like by lots! Since we cut up credit cards in 2007 we just don't over shop anymore. And because we live within a budget I have to really justify that $12 bottle of foundation.

There are so many things I could want for though. I want a new pair of boots, a new belt, a faux fur vest, bigger sunglasses, make up! But, I woke up this morning, dropped the kids off, headed out to the barn and the dew was still fresh on the grass. Far off in the shade of the trees I could see the silhouette of my equine buddies making their way to the fence for feeding time. The most beautiful sight was opening those barn doors as I do each Tuesday morning and seeing those magnificent creatures with just a hint of smoke coming from their nostrils. Looking all along the fence row I could see the leaves had all really started turning. The same 4 turkeys that always stroll through began making their way across the paddock. I hardly broke a sweat with my morning work but couldn't escape getting dirty. I always feel accomplished leaving that place. I like to imagine this is the way my grandfather, Eugene, felt after a good hard days work. He had cattle, chickens, pigs, a sugar cane mill, a donkey, cats, dogs, u name it! It was a working farm. I loved summer's there as a child. It is nice to have that place still to go home to thought that might not always be the case I realize now.
Not sure how long the old house will stand.

From there the day's work went into the radio show and then thoughts turned toward tomorrow's lessons for EASI. It is our last session and some of these kids will not make it back next session. On one hand I am excited to have a Wed. free next week but then I'm gonna hate not seeing some of those faces. There will be new ones though.

I sometimes think what I do is boring and mundane and just really simply an excuse to not punch a 40 hr time card. I do enjoy it then again if you talked to me tomorrow I would be upset because running a business is super frustrating and super duper hard and let's face it...people take advantage. I enjoy what I do, I just hate running the business side. That is the part that makes me wanna take the signs off the truck and say I quit every month!!

It is more obvious than ever that it is really all about balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing. I am finishing up my "Happiness Project" and I can honestly say it has been a fun project to catch up each month. I realize that there are certain shortcomings I must accept and not try to further force myself to like what I SHOULD like.

Looking at my calendar to log a new appt it hits me...  I have booked a 3 hr field trip, a 1 hour radio show, 4 classes, two different presentations and preparing for a 4 day camping trip away from my children the 12th and 13th. I will have to pack the weekend of the women's conference along with preparing all of the week's blog entries and information for the kids to go back and forth to school.

In "The Happiness Project" Gretchen Rubin quotes Michel de Montaigne, "The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced."

I must accept my own nature but also stay motivated. I must learn the difference as Rubin states from "lack of interest" and "fear of failure".

I'm getting there. I realize it isn't traditional this life of mine. I am not the norm for sure when my husband tells me "(fill in blank name here) still doesn't know what you do"

So as I am reflecting on my day and how much I enjoyed it I think is this happiness? Is this balance?  Even though I know my father is going through what he is going through, my sister is probably incredibly tired by today of care taking and my mother is so ready to be home it is unfair...and I am eat up with worry over those situations. I know I cannot control those events and its okay to feel some happiness from where I am in life even though those things are happening right now. I don't think my parents would want me to be miserable, right?

My mom constantly tells me to remember to stop and smell a rose once and a while. I told Bayne a few weeks ago I was chopping the ropes to dead weight by mass amounts...and I've been working on lightening my load. But then I commit to like 6 different things that all start or end in a 2 day period, requiring all different text, even different clothes and LOTS of preparation.

Today I wrote my presentation an hour before I went on air. I will sit down in the morning and write my lesson plans for the day on site. I find I really do my best work under pressure and should stop feeling guilty for it...I thrive in chaos!! Don't know why! But I obviously ENJOY it or I wouldn't keep doing it to myself. So I should celebrate it, put my abilities on blast! "Works well under pressure" "Diffuser of Chaos". As my dad says, "some folks aren't happy unless they are burning the candle at both ends"

When learning to ride you must also eventually learn how to fall. Learning to relax your body and rooolllll into it decreasing your damage potential.
You are then suppose to roll up onto your heels and simply pop up. I think I have learned how to enjoy life so much because of that very idea...I've learned how to rooollll into it...thus decreasing my damage risk and pop back up.

When Rubin makes reference to an acquaintance citing John Stuart Mill's view "Ask yourself if you are happy, and you cease to be so." She questions if he had  meant a reference by the researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to the state of flow. "In flow, it's true, people are completely absorbed, so focused on their tasks that they forget themselves at the perfect balance of challenge and skill." Whereas she felt maybe her friend was insinuating that to ponder ones happiness meant you were self absorbed or perhaps happiness comes as a consequence of pursuing other goals, such as love and work, and therefor shouldn't be a goal in itself. After pondering these ideas a bit further Rubin responds with "You're happy if you think you're happy.

I am learning to live on less for sure, but I have never felt richer than I do today. No doubt, I've come a long way from my "collection's manager" (i use that term loosely) days. Those were the days I HATED getting up and going to work. Newly married, no idea what I was doing, working for horrible ambulance chasers, greasy, unlikable sort of men, then later moving on to corporate hell. I am grateful for each day, you got that right!  I simply must be happy because I think I'm happy!

I've contemplated September's goal to "Pursue a Passion" now I am  looking forward to starting October's chapter on "Pay Attention, Mindfulness."

For more information on how you can start your own Happiness Project or to read more by Gretchen Rubin visit www.happiness-project.com .

I’m not a hopeless romantic…

But I AM an addict of hope! Sometimes we get teased because we like to watch Joel Osteen. Some call him a prosperity minister. I don’t see that at all…I see him as a minister of HOPE. I think looking back through all my years I have found one common bond in every situation. I did indeed have hope when I had nothing else. I think everyone deserves hope. I think we need hope to encourage each other and gain the support and confidence to be our best and live our best life. Without hope why would we get up every morning?
I think we wake up every morning with the same hope we woke up with yesterday. It may not be for the same things but we place our feet on the floor hoping either today will be better than yesterday; that today is the day we get our break; that it is all going to work out; or that maybe today we get that front parking space at Wal-Mart…you know the one right by the cart return?
I have never been one to believe in the supernatural but I have one thing that I am pretty serious about and don’t really think I have ever shared with anyone. I believe every time I see a red cardinal I see God.
Why? I don’t know…but for several years now when I have been contemplating, usually out the kitchen window, low and behold a red cardinal flies across my vision plane. So, I have tested it…I have said at one point “OK Lord, if it’s you send me a cardinal…and hello, there he is!
SO you may say…“oh Melissa! That’s just like when you want a new car, suddenly you see that make car everywhere you look!!” Maybe, whatever, it makes me feel closer to Him and I feel hope instilled in my heart again.
I am at this very moment contemplating those various threads that keep commanding my attention. I HOPE I am making the right decisions, I HOPE it all works out like we have planned and prepared for, I HOPE I am being smart! I HOPE my Dad is going to be okay. I HOPE Owen picks up the pace, I HOPE Baylor is going to happy with his birthday present. I HOPE I am taking the right opportunities and avoiding the wrong ones. I HOPE I don’t come across as bossy or knowing too much. I HOPE people listen to the radio tomorrow. I HOPE Halloween costumes come in on time. I HOPE I can get it all done.
One of my favorite shows is “Parenthood”. The season opener shows Zeek and Camille working out their marriage since their split last season. Zeek’s response to her as learned in therapy is to say” I see you, I hear you”. It shows Camille he is listening to her. How many of just want to be heard and seen? I know I do!
I think I enjoy that most about my relationships with my girlfriends and family. I love to speak hope over them. I love to see them pursue their dreams and encouraging them on is something to witness.
Sometimes my husband gets annoyed when I’m on the computer or texting. Even though I am nodding my head and acting attentive I’m not listening to a single word. I am too involved in what I’m doing. Not respectful of his feelings much is it? I am trying to work on it more. Working to spend more time with those I love and less worry about what I hope works out or what I can‘t control. If it is in God’s hands truly then it will work out if it is to work out. My future will be whatever it is to be, right? I have a purpose and have been fortunate thus far by having faith. OH LOOK! There’s a cardinal!!
Thank you Lord, I get it! I see you and I hear you!

You put one foot in front of the other

Blog: It's goThroughout my career as an organizer I have been blessed to know & work for so many people, all kinds of people from all walk of life. Oh, how I love each and everyone for what they teach me. Some, after what we experience together, feel like family. I treat each one as an individual and each case is different than the one before. Now, I love the pop in & out folks as well, but have a special place for those dealing with strife.

They each have a very different story, each with its own duration and beginning. However, amongst them all has been a recurring theme. They have been dealt a moment in life that changed them.

While visiting the Career Fair here in town yesterday I was blessed to hear a young woman speak about her brother, who had passed at the age of 16. They began a foundation to celebrate his life called "Live Lovely" .  She explained how her brother received a fatal diagnosis and survived only a few short months following. She discussed there being moments in one's life that make you react one of two ways. Either it destroys you or it makes you stronger.

I am communicating with a client who I will be visiting in the coming weeks about a whole house project and what will be taking place during our days together. As we talk each time I can see more and more that there have been moments just like this in her life.

I am not a therapist, nor do I claim to be able to "fix" people, but I CAN fix one of the symptoms which is clutter. If there is no outer order there is no inner calm.

I too have had moments like this in my life, on many occasions. Unfortunately, as a young adult I experienced very sad circumstances and endured a lengthy time in life in situations which destroyed by self esteem, I chose to make that experience a positive one and spent the next several years digging deep to define who "Melissa" was. Being strong in my sense of self allows me the confidence to pick up after new setbacks. It is only through some soul searching that we can overcome life's struggles.

Many of my clients have lost a spouse, some have experienced a divorce, lost a child, lost a parent, had a physical issue, lost a job, or just plain overworked and overscheduled. While talking this morning, she mentioned "I can't believe my life could really be changing in just a week".  It is overwhelming. I explain during these marathon sessions that a lot of emotions are going to come. Again, everyone is different. But a lot of the responses to having a stranger come in and turn your house upside down and right side up again are the same. I explained I wanted her to journal her feelings this week leading up to my arrival, because we would have to process this before during and after the project was completed. I asked her to repeat this word when she begins to feel the anxiety this week….Forward. It is the word I say when I feel overwhelm building in my own chest. It has worked for 2 years to keep me from having panic attacks.

For all of my clients that I work with dwelling in these valleys, I pray for the same thing, that they come out of it with a burden off of their shoulders, a peace on their heart allowing them to focus on the positive momentum we have started. Empowering them to release the fear and regret that has manifested into the material and put one foot in front of the other to becoming confident and healthy.

I ask you to do the same thing I instruct other's to do, journal. Write down how your belongings make you feel. If you intend to tackle it yourself take the opportunity to document your progress. When you are on the other side you will need to process the emotions you went through to get there. At times, when you feel frustrated with your surroundings, put in words what is frustrating you. For example, there are too many papers, cords are everywhere, laundry is in piles, etc. Then process why this isn't getting the attention it needs. Then…you too can start putting one foot in front of the other to devise a solution.

posted on: 1/28/2010 2:00:00 PM by Melissa Searcy
category: Family
http://www.onlineorganizing.com/

What do Faith, a Biopsy, Some Disorganization and The Horse Whisperer have to do with each other?

What do Faith, a Biopsy, Some Disorganization and The Horse Whisperer have to do with each other?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Written to post originally May 21, 2010

Discouragement, Hope and Victory. Three words that I feel sum up the majority of our emotions! Throw in a little Fear and we come to a standstill.

With my current situation I have for this past week pondered difficult situations I am about to face even folks from my past I have never looked forward to seeing again. Along with a strong pull to do something new, to be happier, to live longer and most importantly live according to God's Plan for me.

Actually, ever since I read Max Lucado's book "The Cure for the Common Life" several years ago, I have done nothing but. After some of the more challenging periods of my life I have done lots of self study trying to use my own progress and take my own story to be a blessing to others. In order to do that you have to contend with constant scrutiny and validation of your own actions.

Becoming a Christian nearly 5 years ago my life has changed much indeed. But have I gotten too comfortable since then? Am I supposed to be moving a hair to the right a bit? While I have been learning to ride horseback these past few years I have never felt closer to God. It is almost like He lets me in on a little known secret of the universe…trust. When horse and rider are in rhythm something magical occurs. You live as Max Luxado's book points out "in your sweet spot." That ball and groove continuity is really nice. I've been blessed enough to be there for quite a while.

When we moved in 08 I felt like I was giving everything up. I felt as though I had been successful and that all of it was going to be taken away from me. It hasn't. I have remained busy with great clients from my new home and our old home. I don't even mind the drive anymore and look forward to the trips and the people I meet. I haven't suffered lately.

But I am not restful either. My house is taking more time to keep together, I must get to every drawer soon as they are all brimming with stuff but I have made major strides in the past week since I've been focusing on this procedure coming up. And I realized something…sometimes our houses make us feel hopeless on purpose…we walk around disgusted by the mess that illustrates clearly we are out of balance and feeling too tired to pay attention to it.

Then there is the weight. After losing 65 lbs after my second son I have nearly regained it all. The time before that one I lost 60 lbs after I left the domestic situation and wanted to be healthy. I look at those times and think when I was happy I was healthier. Look again; I was getting into my sweet spot….beginning the company, building the brand, joining the organizations, becoming a player in entrepreneurship, setting my own schedule and naming my own price followed as result of that happiness. It felt good. But my schedule was increasing and I was beginning to get worried comments from my mother on slowing down. I began having panic attacks and couldn't get outta bed. I developed staph from a client's home and suffered days in the bed recovering. About that time Bayne transferred and we were soon moving.

That was my call to take it easy, so after moving I didn't even really want to pick up the business for a while. So here I am again, growing, building, getting busy, over committing and what's happening? Someone's trying to get my attention. My house stays a mess, my car is a mess, my children are too busy and grouchy, and my husband and I haven't had a date night in a while and are really feeling it. We are grouchy, tired, overworked and in bad need of some family time. Summer can't come soon enough.

Then this biopsy hanging over my head…it has made me realize that the unbearable times are truly worth it and necessary in the end, but do we allow ourselves to fully feel the extent of what that someone is trying to tell us?

We women labor with our children, sick, tired, in pain but then we deliver that delightful creature. After laboring for so long our hope is restored in that one face to face meeting. We find ourselves a prisoner of hope for this individual. Having allowed ourselves to feel the pain we get to experience the exhilaration of victory.

I have come to this conclusion…If He will break me He will heal me. My house disrupts my Zen when my spirit is out of whack for a reason.

I am serious about feeling every bit of this…not succumbing to medicine to numb the anxiety or fear of the unknown. I realize how many times I didn't allow myself to feel something that might have otherwise fixed my path sooner. Could I have been organized sooner and more completely? Could I have been thin all these years instead of struggling?



After watching an episode of Oprah, the author of "Women, Food and God" book was talking about how the food doesn't allow us to experience those feelings completely. You begin negative thinking and next you are in the pantry. Instead, go with that feeling and find out where it is trying to take you.

Our disorganization is suppose to be painful to us I think. After all, the word clutter comes from the Latin root "Clot", which makes one think of a clot clogging an artery. Our lack of focus is supposed to redirect us onto the correct path.

The further out of sync we are with our purpose the more uncomfortable we become. Sometimes we are not supposed to stay where we are and change must occur to jar us from this convenient slumber of life where we are wasting our talents. We are to transition from one stage to another.



When breaking horses I think of the movie "The Horse Whisperer" the gut wrenching seen as Pilgrim and the broken girl rise together after feeling the full extent of their pain. Victorious in the struggle, glorified in complete harmony with every rise and fall of the horse's gait. I live for those moments of victory and joy.

But if I see that there is going to be a little pain involved well I go rearrange a room, tear out a closet or buy a dozen donuts...let's face it distractions must be made.

What if this is the "C" word, I am realistic enough to understand that He sometimes has to break us to make us holy. Just like Pilgrim, Am I due for a little breaking?

It is of His choosing! We must review, process, store and delete unnecessary information and respectfully store the memories…if we are healthy. Otherwise we detour those negative thoughts with food, shopping or distractions.

Realizing again, it isn't about me but what I am to others and how have I come this far to still need work. Humbling for sure. Obviously the Joel Osteen quote I retweeted last week is still relevant, with great challenges come greater victories.



So until next week, when I should have results back…Happy Organizing!

Baylor's Treehouse

Blank Page! Blank Page!

Found on my desk



Why don’t you write yourself? I am riddled with too many things that take my focus. I am, like most of my clients, easily distractible. I compound that by saying “uh-huh I can do that” or offering advice that gets me involved in the action quite often.
I am not complaining, because I truly enjoy doing lots of different things but when they all come due in the same 3 week period I think…“are you serious?”. This week will be one of those weeks…many different threads of tasks, deadlines and busy work are all on completely different topics and completely due!
At the same time I have my family very much front of mind. My dad is literally wasting away before my eyes and had a very bad fall last week. I have been following Ramona Creel’s (one the top professional organizers and very respected women in my industry) account of losing her mother suddenly, I mean with in a few months, being 38 she expresses how she feels “orphaned”. I find myself talking differently about what my future holds with my parents and even how my relationship with sisters will surely be strained. I wonder if we are strong enough to walk through it all together without pulling off too many scabs from our childhood mostly based in random meaningless sister bickering. Realizing we are all at different stations in our lives will require some care and navigation not to mention mutual respect. I get a little bitter because I feel like am I really dealing with this at 36?
So sorrow seems to always be lurking like that banana peel…not sure if leaving in a few weeks in Arkansas is going to be a good idea or not. Never mind that my husband and I have not had a vacation together alone since Owen was born when we left for New Years 2005. I worry that this trip will be like many others we have taken in our time together where we leave only to find Dad was rushed to the hospital in our absence and they‘ve been trying to get a hold of us. Dad is having a procedure Tuesday to fix two fractures in his lower back.
Then I shrug it off…it will be fine. We have lots of time left together. I move on to the next little emergency my brain brings forth. The radio show content for Tues. My riding lessons for Wednesday. Thursday’s blog. Women’s conference stuff. Arkansas trip packing list and instructions for the boys. Submitting to the call for speakers deadline Sept. 30. Renewing my NARHA membership this week. Sanding with Jaime on Tuesday. Baylor’s Birthday Thursday! The decorating class and AUM class material! AGGHHHH!!!
I find myself walking around the house one end to the other contemplating where I should start next. Frustrated I get angry because I should have been more organized!
When I was in high school I attended a performing arts school for art. I was always told by my teacher Bee Lee and Patsy to work AROUND the page. That phrase comes to mind as I walk down the hallway for the 25^th time wondering if I want to bust out the fall clothes under the bed and get them hung up or not. I SHOULD vacuum again today to stay ahead but it can wait until tomorrow. I gained control on Thursday and I intend to keep it a week at least, right?
This week I am going to stick to working around the page every day…I have so much going on and must force myself to focus. And as a continued theme for this blog…no matter what is going on in my life I must always remember to appreciate my NOW. And right now my little all boy family is dancing in celebration that the floor of my son’s new tree house is nearly complete!! My heart warms at the thought of how lucky I am! And then there is that new kid thing we keep tossing around. Our lives could be different this time next year for sure. In many ways. Can’t worry about that now. Back to focus…
I will handle everything as it comes, one day at a time. I can’t worry with all of life’s what ifs all at once. No one can! I’m just trying to get some stuff done today not discover the meaning of life, right?
　
Anyway…my point is I’m distracted today. I have reached joy in my life at a level most folks don’t get to. I think the uneasiness I feel today is knowing adversity is always lurking around waiting to test my flexibility. I will get it all done…I always do. Just shake it off, focus and keep working around my page. See? It worked…it filled itself up!!! How do you eat an elephant? ONE- BITE- AT -A TIME
　
Don't forget to visit http://www.ramonacreel.com/