Growing UP!

Growing UP!
　
I have, for my entire 20 year career, felt so honored when anyone gave me props as a multi-tasker. While the kids are practicing or playing I usually feel as if I am required to be efficient and find my 20 min in the day to get ahead. That is what my training as an organizer has taught me through numerous blogs and websites for neat people. Time Management -Time Management! I caught myself last week missing a moment though. Baylor was at acolyte practice and I watched from behind a book like I wasn’t paying any attention at all. I think I do this as to show him I’m not hovering. I want him to do new things without fear of what I will think. But he was so serious about it! His hand placement perfect, his timing calculated to wait for the other child to walk back down. Completely pleased with his new job that he kept asking Angie “so are we gonna do this every Sunday?” For all I know he may become a Pastor himself one day because of that moment. My son turns 8 in 10 days. I keep seeing my nephew who started college this year posted in pics and he was just at my wedding as the ring bearer when HE was 8!
　
I realized, “this was it” ,THIS is my time to witness what great creatures they are. I can multitask all I want but THIS is not where I am going to focus on efficiency for the moment. I can eliminate some other time waster elsewhere later on like the 10,500 emails in my inbox…yes, I am going to just hit DELETE one day.
　We got out the Halloween decorations last night and my husband walked through the paper strewn living room and said “it’s not even October yet”. This year I let them put everything out on their own, okay mostly. They impress me with where they want to hang things. And the boys and I have a lot of fun doing it. I think that is one of the reasons I keep backing up the date I bust out the Christmas decorations. It drives my husband crazy but I want the boys to really remember the decorations for as long as they can. Our niece, Janie Bess, has a fascination with Christmas trees and Bayne’s mother has left hers up for months just for that baby. What does it hurt? We are making memories, right?
While changing the house around for the new fall season, my husband and I created some play areas and extra surfaces for the boys to place their Lego sets on. When they were little it used to be palette places on the floor to play but they our constructors now.
It is so unfair, this modern day society, we are to run at break neck speeds, all these plates up in the air, having our babies, becoming homemakers, trying to keep our place in the rat race…showing everyone we can do this…we can get organized (Actually we just keep moving the same stuff to better hiding places) then it gives…
　
I had a friend in Elementary School…Anastasia…if I could find that girl now I would be thrilled. Her home was so eccentric, she dressed different, her parents were artsy (read hippy now that I know what that looks like) they had cool art displayed everywhere. The house was not a dirty mess, it was just living art everywhere. Her mother encouraged Anastasia to have forts and decorate her ceiling and build misc. sculpture. I had a good time everywhere we went together along with our other BFF Vanessa. Her parents never seemed overly present, they were always in the background and I have no idea what they did for a living, didn’t care. Anastasia as an only child was always entertained! Pinky Dinky Doo reminds me of my childhood friend. I’m sure she is living some place eclectic like SoHo, drinks cool coffee and only dates artists!
We get into this micromanagement mind set and we refuse to see our way past it…looking back having my kids a little older now, I can see where I should have let them completely make messes everywhere (er, creative messes) but I was too wrapped up in “Overwhelm”…I’m coming out of it and pleased to see other women I know coming out of it too. I think mine was attributed to my upbringing that my mom and dad were incredibly orderly people and I felt the need to create that kind of home too but I was to have a career as well.
I once read Naomi Wolf’s ( a third generation feminist) book “the Beauty Myth’ in which she discussed women finding and making peace with their inner authentic feminine self. Looking back I know now why I didn’t understand it in college. I didn’t possess the knowledge I have now. Its hard to do that in our current state because at the present moment women are leading men in job growth and we tend to be over-achievers to showcase our excellent ability to do it all. I watch some of my friends status updates and mine as well…they all reflect this “I can do it all, see?” mentality…I sit back and wonder when will they hit that moment that it gives and realize it isn’t all about being the best, the most efficient, the most talented. The MOST anything! I know folks that I think, “what keeps propelling you forward girl?” What s that compensating for? Then I ask myself the same question along with…” So, how’s that working out for you?”
I say it is a balancing act! That’s why I equate everything I do in life to what is possible on the back of an equine! So much has to do with trusting that you know that horse’s sweet spot….the one where you and he run together in unison, rider possessing the ability to change body position to brace for a turn without coming off is relevant to the road of life.
When you get to a peaceful place (which may look a bit stuffy and organized at first like an IKEA showroom if you‘re not careful) where you can live in your NOW without worry of what s coming next, when you learn to release control of the reins and allow life to happen, THEN you will realize a little mess is best!

I seek now more and more to make that creative, inspirational and family fun atmosphere I experienced back in Miami Springs at Anastasia’s house. I never THOUGHT I would want that, I’ve always felt I was suppose to vacuum on Wed. nights just like my mother did. She always says “When I was working, Wednesday nights were my catch up nights” and she is right…that was what Betty Jean decided was right for her and God I love that woman! But my needs are different than hers were …and it may not work for everyone but I’m just trying to find the best way to “be Melissa” and I’m not above admitting I am just like little Lindsey Lohan…a work in progress!
　

　

　

　
　
　
　
　
　

Are you supposed to be having this good of a time?

It has been such a change gears kind of day! Feeding the horses, on what was an awesome morning weather wise, at the barn. Then  I had to finish up writing for a radio show this afternoon, I ran for a follow up mammogram and then to the station for the one hour show. Looks like I will be making another appearance week after next to discuss listeners questions and talk about dressing up bedrooms and bathrooms for guests. Dinner out with the family and home for the season premiere of Parenthood. I feel like I am rockin it today, got it to-getha!

As I reflect on my day it hits me...is it okay to have this much fun?  I am fortunate to live a pretty diverse life. And next week could be just completely different.  Bayne and I were talking at dinner and I said "but you know if someone called tomorrow and needed their home organized this weekend within a 2 hour radius I would totally make it work". This tendency for me to over book drives my husband crazy. But it is fun!!

It seems I have against my own will....gasp....become flexible! I am no longer freaked beyond recognition when my plans change last minute. Mah-jor accomplishment for me!

 I kinda like this new non-worrier me...I don't worry about managing my time as much, I know I am making the most of every minute. I know that it will all get done, I still worry about getting somewhere on time or the coffee pot being left on (or the iron, or the fan, "are all the doors locked?") but that is just because I am my mother's child. Let's just say I have never been much of a free spirit or a go with the flow kinda girl.

I think it is mostly because I have felt guilty to have fun doing what I love. I know so many people hate getting up and going to work every day. I use to be one of those people, went through two pregnancies being one of those people. Funny thing is I actually told my husband the other day I should write a thank you note to my former department director, she made me get a backbone which has come in handy lately.

So, I see a peace moving into my home. I will have time to read more, write more, spend quality time with my family and my interests. I, for the moment, am making all my irons in the fire stay hot simultaneously. I feel I am just well rounded and trying to get the most out of every day. I know it is only b/c I am somewhat organized that I am able to do this. I don't feel like my house runs me, my house just runs!

Now, do I still lose my debit card or my car keys? Sure! Talk about feeling like a big dork...I arrive at the women's breast center today 20 min. early as to make sure I got out on time for my arrival at the station only to find out I am a day early. Wrote it down wrong on my calendar! It worked out and they worked me in, no way I would have been able to go tomorrow anyway. But here I was the organizer headed to talk on the radio about organizing and I can't get my own calendar right!


Who am I kidding? I really should just celebrate today's successes and not contemplate it too hard...Wednesday is pretty full too, and she could have something up her sleeve!

Faith Over Fear

Written for May 26th post



During these last two weeks while I have been dealing with the ordeal of getting this biopsy I have abandoned everything else.


Now waiting another two weeks until surgery on the 14th leaves me with a decision to make.



Do I keep to my bed underneath the covers cancelling appointments because I just don't feel like putting on a happy face or do I get up and get moving?







Well, I have to get up…I have two boys that can't see their mother like this another day.



They need me to function. They need me to get the laundry done. I have been told by a very wise and kind woman "Faith over Fear".







While it has only been two weeks, I took the last 4 days off in-between these two unsuccessful attempts at a biopsy to study and read all I could about what was going on.



The same dear friend brought me an excellent book by Dr. Susan Love, The Breast Book it is simply called. I spent four whole days reading it! I have been on radiology websites for hours searching for answers. I have let everything else fall around me while I gained too much knowledge that just made me more scared!







I had to choose in his office today, how much was I going to let this affect me? If we know it's probably nothing but we have to test it anyway to find out and now it looks like we are, then I am in this to win it and I have a few weeks to prepare. I can go to Montgomery the 7th, work a whole house job without being sore (from surgery). I can even arrange to stay in town one night and meet my husband while he is in town and actually spend a night alone….in a hotel even! I will be able to bring my mother back with me to stay since I know there is no way Betty Jean is going to let me have surgery of any kind without her here. So, I have realized I can't fix this today, but I can make a plan.







I have two weeks to prepare for being in the operating room. I, as some of you know, suffer from recurring staph infections gained a few years back from a client's home. I battle with it maybe a few times a year. So, I want my body's immune system boosted, can't lose any time with the rest of my summer. I would like to take off a little bit of weight but not pushing.







I think back to so many of my clients and I believe this is the crossroad they are faced with when it comes to waiting for any kind of diagnosis…so which is it going to be? Faith? Or Fear?







June 1, 2010



Spent my long weekend re-organizing my own house, all the closets, the kids' rooms and getting it ready for a few hectic weeks coming up on the road and realized (once again) what a sense of calm comes over me when the house is clean and in order. It isn't frantic, chaotic or unpredictable. When I head into a tailspin my house follows me. I am a happier person when the weight of disorganization is off my shoulders. When my eye does not stop as I walk through my house on something out of line, I feel calm enough to sit down with a good book or look through a magazine. I feel I am caught up.



Running behind all the time is tiresome. And worse when LIFE happens, as it will, one is not prepared.







Watching the premiere episode of "Losing It with Jillian", NBC's trainer from "Biggest Loser", she said something that encapsulates it all…"there is usually an instigative event" that begins a snowball for someone not equipped to handle what is happening to them. A chain of clutter, excuses, weight gain, depression, exhaustion, debt stress, even physical pain from stress and anxiety. In my experience as an organizer, I say 60% of my clients have had an event that changed their lives forever and are simply having difficulty with the recovery part.











So which is it going to be for me? I am going to take it on Faith! As I stated earlier in the last blog, if He breaks me He will heal me. So of course I have great faith, BUT, I am taking an ounce of prevention and preparing my surroundings just in case there is an "instigative event" lurking around my corner!

Allowing others to do for you

Lulagrace Organized Interiors on Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 1:58pm for http://www.onlineorganizing.com/


As many of you know I had a small procedure this week and my mother was in town to help out with the kids while I recovered. But, last week I booked a 4 day project in Montgomery. My client was recovering from an injury and had to work from home for 6 weeks. While she was home she had decided to take advantage of the opportunity and de-cluttered her whole home. I was able to take a box to her, have her sort it and make decisions instead of my usual homework assignments.

Having the ability to do this without having to go back to her normal routine was great because she was able to move at her own pace. In the end, this client was my biggest donator on record!

I got to thinking how great it would be for her when she was released from the doctor and able to return to her normal schedule, she would be off and running. Having purged from the last 7-10 years allowed her to focus on her recovery and not the things surrounding her. While she still answered calls and managed her life during our time together I believe it was also therapeutic to have something to occupy her time as well.

On my first day home from surgery I slept literally all day! The second day I could hear my kids in the background beginning to take advantage of my mother. They were bored!

I tried to come up with things to do while I was in bed that would be great time savers for me once I recovered. Like that cabinet of Tupperware that was completely missing its matches…mom and the kids sorted and tossed what needed to go and voila, task done!

Having my mother here while I got back on my feet was nice but the hardest thing for me was to let her have free reign to clean and organize how she chose. I let her and the kids dust and clean all the little crystal pieces I never get to, everything shines for the moment! I decided just to let her have it!

Sometimes it is tough to ask for help, but it can be a wonderful surprise when we let others lend a hand. I have to say my husband also aided in my peaceful recovery by offering to paint our bedroom this wonderful shade of purple while I was out of town working. This too was something of a challenge to me to allow him to possibly make a huge mess while I was not here but very rewarding. Being alright with others doing for me and letting them without interruption was new to me but I realized while actually sitting down to watch a movie with my kids yesterday that if I let go a bit and didn’t insist on doing it all myself, I enjoyed my time more.

Is Your Battery Dead?

Is Your Battery Dead?by Lulagrace Organized Interiors on Thursday, July 1, 2010 at 12:13pm for http://www.onlineorganizing.com/


I watch Housewives of New Jersey (and all the others) religiously! One week I noticed every time they would visit Caroline Manzo's pad she would have some delicious snack prepared, while wiping off counters and pouring her guests a festive beverage. Always on the ready. Now I know most of those women have housekeepers but some I think are naturally that talented. How is it they run charities, businesses, lunch with girlfriends, a game of tennis and photo shoots all while managing a household and the family that goes in it. Is it realistic or even healthy for us to be that on the go and motivated. But then we also see the fabulous vacations they take too! AND spa trips!!



I have tried to study this multitasking housewife for years, trying to perfect my own abilities to juggle several plates in the air. I get all worked up and tell folks sometimes my ADD and OCD (self diagnosis) tend to intersect and I short out. Leaving me unable to focus on one thing and powerless to leave something else unfinished. I have in the past tried to set up my own systems to put in place a catch net for what I leave behind. Then my creative side starts chirping…paint 3 rooms this weekend!! Move 4 large pieces of furniture around the house on a Saturday morning! You all know I have a patient husband but it is even taxing on him at times.



Recently, while I was recovering from surgery I couldn't do much but I could change all my lamps and accessories around and that brought me such joy! I just can't sit still! I love a clean, tidy, organized house…sometimes it's the life outside these doors that gets in the way. Commitments pile up and responsibility comes knocking. There are days when I just want to play house all day. Our focus is so distracted at times. It is then that I want to take the signs off the truck, close Lula up and take a hiatus to be just mom. Bake cookies and scrub my floors the old fashioned way. But then I get bored and restless, the dogs won't stop barking and the kids won't stop yelling and I come to my senses that I must have something else to channel my energy into. So is this balance even possible? Can we be a domestic diva, rockin mom and entrepreneur all at once? How come some have it and some don't?



I think it starts with focus! When we lose our focus we tend to get all bogged down with negative thinking: "I can't do all this"; "I should wait until my children are older"; "Why make it hard on myself"; "It's just too much".



In 2007 when I began having panic attacks, my Doctor would tell me just to say the word FORWARD when I started thinking like that. I still have anxiety but am learning how to work it out.



I lose my focus and sometimes want to quit all that I have obligated myself to do and just be mom and wife. Those are my most important jobs. But then I remember who I truly work for…to glorify my God who has given me these talents in the first place. That usually puts be back in check quickly.



While I may not have fresh cookies and a perfect home like the "Real Housewives" I am trying to do all that I love at once. I can't listen to the negative thoughts telling me I can't. I regroup, whisper "Forward" a few times and can get back together pretty quick now. Focus is truly important but second to that is taking time for yourself to recharge your own batteries. We ALL need downtime, we just sometimes deny ourselves the time to relax. Some of us don't really know how!!!



So, if you feel a little overwhelmed and discombobulated like I do during the unstructured summer, take the next few weeks to enjoy yourself. Take a breather, recharge your batteries and get your focus back!RELAX!



For us Type A's, time management, list making and sub-categorizing our lives back in order can wait a few weeks!!



Happy 4th of July!!



After the long holiday weekend Lulagrace will be taking the next 3 weeks to focus solely on "back to school". We encourage you to share your greatest tips and suggestions for getting organized for Fall on our Facebook page. Or submit them to melissa@lulagrace.com .

It's All Down Hill From Here!

We made it through another July 4th weekend. Filled with everything that is "summer-time" and what happened July 5th? Back to School went up on the shelves at Wal-Mart!



The calendar is starting to fill, pages over the coming months throw me from a catapult back into the reality that the schedule is coming!! Will I be in a frenzy trying to pull it all together last minute this year?



We have been really bad these last few weeks. Boys going to bed at 10:30 and sleeping until 9am. But I had made this pact with my self that I was going to let them both enjoy themselves. This would be the last summer before Owen went to kindergarten and the rest of their life was mandatory.



From here they have to perform, have to function, have to be responsible. Let Owen trash his room…he will never not know structure from here until he is grown.



My recent experience with the surgery reminded me of the car accident I had with a fire rescue truck in 2003. It always seems that He has a way of telling me to slow it down a little. And this recent event was no exception. Hey! I love to slow it down! I appreciate quietly reading in my living room or playing with my kids and dogs. Much like the kids, I love the ease of just getting up and going through the day as it presents itself. We don't get a lot done but we are happy. I have learned that if the house is minimal it keeps itself with routine maintenance. As I have piddled around here all summer I've gained ground one drawer at a time, one shelf at a time. We will probably try to squeeze in one more project, then pack it up and get ready to start the school-year. I intend to start this one off right. Not feel like I came hurling out of that catapult but planned, prepared and executed. Possessing thoughtful awareness of what is coming. It's a goal, right? I had Christmas purchased for the first time before Thanksgiving last year, I'm up to the challenge!!



But first, let me squeeze every bit of summer out!!!!





posted on: 7/8/2010 2:00:00 PM originally for http://www.onlineorganizing.com/

Organizers Rhetoric!

My most favorite thing to do is see fellow organizers posting updates such as... did you know making the most of your time can help decrease stress?

Well of course you do! Sometimes we have a way of stating the obvious! When we should just get down to the basic principle that we all have more stuff now, and less room in most cases to keep it in and no time to figure out what to do with it. Life happens and sometimes we are dealt set backs. It is during these set backs or moments when life is calling on our full attention that we get backlogged. Some of us it takes one room, some it takes a whole house to realize it. Of course you know if you made better use of your time, you would have less stress.

Please excuse me, it is a little gripe I have that I see often...but I know you are smarter than that!