Faith Over Fear

Written for May 26th post



During these last two weeks while I have been dealing with the ordeal of getting this biopsy I have abandoned everything else.


Now waiting another two weeks until surgery on the 14th leaves me with a decision to make.



Do I keep to my bed underneath the covers cancelling appointments because I just don't feel like putting on a happy face or do I get up and get moving?







Well, I have to get up…I have two boys that can't see their mother like this another day.



They need me to function. They need me to get the laundry done. I have been told by a very wise and kind woman "Faith over Fear".







While it has only been two weeks, I took the last 4 days off in-between these two unsuccessful attempts at a biopsy to study and read all I could about what was going on.



The same dear friend brought me an excellent book by Dr. Susan Love, The Breast Book it is simply called. I spent four whole days reading it! I have been on radiology websites for hours searching for answers. I have let everything else fall around me while I gained too much knowledge that just made me more scared!







I had to choose in his office today, how much was I going to let this affect me? If we know it's probably nothing but we have to test it anyway to find out and now it looks like we are, then I am in this to win it and I have a few weeks to prepare. I can go to Montgomery the 7th, work a whole house job without being sore (from surgery). I can even arrange to stay in town one night and meet my husband while he is in town and actually spend a night alone….in a hotel even! I will be able to bring my mother back with me to stay since I know there is no way Betty Jean is going to let me have surgery of any kind without her here. So, I have realized I can't fix this today, but I can make a plan.







I have two weeks to prepare for being in the operating room. I, as some of you know, suffer from recurring staph infections gained a few years back from a client's home. I battle with it maybe a few times a year. So, I want my body's immune system boosted, can't lose any time with the rest of my summer. I would like to take off a little bit of weight but not pushing.







I think back to so many of my clients and I believe this is the crossroad they are faced with when it comes to waiting for any kind of diagnosis…so which is it going to be? Faith? Or Fear?







June 1, 2010



Spent my long weekend re-organizing my own house, all the closets, the kids' rooms and getting it ready for a few hectic weeks coming up on the road and realized (once again) what a sense of calm comes over me when the house is clean and in order. It isn't frantic, chaotic or unpredictable. When I head into a tailspin my house follows me. I am a happier person when the weight of disorganization is off my shoulders. When my eye does not stop as I walk through my house on something out of line, I feel calm enough to sit down with a good book or look through a magazine. I feel I am caught up.



Running behind all the time is tiresome. And worse when LIFE happens, as it will, one is not prepared.







Watching the premiere episode of "Losing It with Jillian", NBC's trainer from "Biggest Loser", she said something that encapsulates it all…"there is usually an instigative event" that begins a snowball for someone not equipped to handle what is happening to them. A chain of clutter, excuses, weight gain, depression, exhaustion, debt stress, even physical pain from stress and anxiety. In my experience as an organizer, I say 60% of my clients have had an event that changed their lives forever and are simply having difficulty with the recovery part.











So which is it going to be for me? I am going to take it on Faith! As I stated earlier in the last blog, if He breaks me He will heal me. So of course I have great faith, BUT, I am taking an ounce of prevention and preparing my surroundings just in case there is an "instigative event" lurking around my corner!