Can your commitment be renewed in one weekend?

Aaggggghh!!!! Monday morning! I sit in bed this morning contemplating the 5-6 pages I have started writing lists on in a small notebook beside my laptop. I keep thinking about what I witnessed this weekend and then flip flop to what I have ahead of me to accomplish before I leave for Arkansas Wednesday. I have to get some of this out of my head and onto the page. I feel a little anxious at the knew knowledge I have now. I am in fresh from our community’s Fall RefresHER Christian Women’s conference where I spent Friday evening and Saturday morning with nearly 75 women to grow and practice being present together in Christ.
Having a small performance with my bestie at the beginning of the conference I wasn’t really able to place too much expectation on the event as I was mainly focused on not throwing up a little since I was gonna be on stage…performing a Christian rap no doubt! We rocked it with a little adjustment here and there! I kinda knew we could do it but then anything can happen. I could have tripped on a mic cord, busting a tooth on the stage or something else just as embarrassing. I enjoy getting to do the things that were fun in high school and college like organizing events but “acting” was NEVER one of my talents.
After that was done…I was able to settle down and begin paying attention. God was there all weekend, working his hand in all that we did. It was really quite amazing. Most of you ( if you read me weekly which you SHOULD!) know that my husband and I changed our lives 5 years ago when we dedicated ourselves to Jesus and picked up our orders for purposeful living. I was amazed at the amount of peace in my heart. Most of the testimonies and speeches I heard gave validation to what I knew all along about how we should look at our opportunities. We really should see them as opportunities to delight the Lord. Just as I think I have also almost mastered trying to do that, I realize it is surely time to move on into something new. I know He is ready for me to grow and just like watching Jennifer Hudson’s “Behind the Music” I feel truly renewed and ready to embrace whatever the change!
On a side note -
Did you know that it was a natural disaster that took all the phone lines out in her hometown that prevented her peeps from calling in to Idol and voting for her another week? Did you know that she was the one who had to identify her 7 year old nephew’s body? And that her first performance back following that horrible ordeal was to sing the compelling song
“You Pulled Me Through” at the Grammys? A song she wrote BEFORE the tragic death of her brother, mother and nephew.

“You gave my faith back, faith was so hard to find
You gave me my life back, you were my lifeline
The love that you gave me is love that has saved me
Your strength is what made me strong
You held me and I held on”

“I held on“…wow!! I mean God’s grace is truly amazing! Look at her today. I sat this weekend, as the equally fabulous to Jennifer Hudson, Miss Kim Dunn led praise and worship for us. She spoke words from her heart that could only have come as a result of God’s finger dabbling in what was to be an extraordinary two days for us. I think all were moved, I know we all became closer and all felt refreshed in the spirit!
More than ever, I leave with the full intent to stop fighting those things that I realize now are just my natural tendencies, embrace those things that are really talents, stop trying to fit into other’s expectations of me and to truly find JOY in all that I do. As always I am committed to enjoying my now.
So where’s my right now?? Acccck!!! If I really think about it I will freak: a 20 person field trip; a radio show; a new class to begin teaching; another new class to begin teaching. In TWO days! We leave Wednesday evening to go enjoy 3 days of camping, good music, and better fellowship. I will return surely revived and ready to settle down and get back to work.
My mother asked me on the phone just last night…”okay now (most authoritative voice she has), when you get back??” Open ended to surely prompt my own reply first…I said “ I know, I am”. I understand, I have been scolded lately by husband and mother for the over committing that has been happening lately. I agree!

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Here is mine!

Where is the Instruction Manual?

Through out my years as an organizer and business owner I have had many women approach me for advice. When I lived in Montgomery I was fortunate enough to have an intern twice a year through the Interior Decorating program at Auburn University of Montgomery where I still teach. Interns had to spend approximately 20 hours with me. You get to know someone pretty quick.
I was always amazed at how many questions they had and how they were hoping someone would tell them the secret to success. I had those questions too. I’ve learned only through trial and error that there is no secret to success.
You have to first discover your talents. If you are unaware of your gift from God you have no idea how to interpret your purpose, right? It takes a lot of self awareness. Often times there is no other way to gain self awareness except through some major life crisis.
After some soul searching to decipher the hidden meaning in any life changing event we are stronger, hopefully able to trust ourselves more and ask the questions necessary to encourage us to take the right fork in the road.
But we must be flexible. Plans can change, quickly! I’ve always been proud of my ability to zag when others are still zigging…I am a fast learner and am always aware of my damage factor. For months I have been trying to redefine myself in this new town. Montgomery had a population of over 202,000, our new town…under 15,000. Oh yea, it’s different!
My stand still is that I have been driven for several years now. Once we moved I still found myself traveling the 2 hours to Montgomery for clients even in this second year. In this new place, the emergency brake has been pulled several times now.
My husband and I were talking last night, as we have been many nights lately, about this 3rd baby thing. Which has lead us to talk about our current baby. Lula has had so many growing pains. I cannot bitch about my achievements or disappointments, I am thankful for each one. That is why this blog is called Lula’s Grace…if it were not for Lulagrace (www.Lulagrace.com) I’m not sure if I would be who I am today. But if Lulagrace were to cease to be, who would I be then? Lately I have had some definite time wasters and it just completely drags you down when it isn‘t just your business it‘s your baby. I only have my time for sale. I don’t have a product that I can re-coop the costs. I love to offer free advice but since our move to a smaller town it seems a difficult situation to be in. Money ruins many relationships but I have to contribute to my family, and my time is my product. My knowledge and experience is my service.
As a business owner, of anything, you must always be ready to reinvent yourself. You must stay ahead of the trend and stay current in your education. I have not been sure if I wanted to quit, take some time off or what? My husband says I flip flop from hour to hour. It’s true!!
After really thinking about it, I have made this decision. Lulagrace is a part of me. But I’m not Lulagrace. I COULD give it up, but I love my profession and would go organize for 4 days if someone called today and needed it done, even if they were 4 hours away!

Since her creation I have never known how to exactly clock out at the end of the day. My husband has been incredibly understanding to allow me to dedicate so much of my time to this 24 hour commitment. But it is time for me to draw the line between my personal and my professional life. I need balance restored between the two.
As of Oct. 4^th I will no longer answer calls after 5pm, I will no longer return Lula emails after 5pm. I will also book out my jobs so I am only on one at a time. My business hours are 8-5 just like everyone else. I am going to start enforcing my rates and if you want free advice, you can attend the introductory free class I am teaching at FUMC beginning October 13^th.
I love you all, but ask that you respect what I do. Yes, it is a talent and ideas pouring from my mouth are part of what makes me fun to be around, but it is also my J-O-B. The ability to organize a project and “Git er Done” attitude make me a plus to any function for sure. But it is wearing me out! And it puts no money in my pocket. Not to mention incredibly unfair to my paying clients. So, sorry to rant this morning. This is why I have been uncomfortable and ill at ease for over a month. For the past week I have been up at 5am each morning with this first on my mind.
While there is no instruction manual for discovering your own passion there isn’t one for running a business either. You learn as you go. I appreciate all my clients and I love to help out when I can. I am learning to say “No, thank you!”. Please don’t be offended or take it personal when I do.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin

Treehouse Update: Completed!

Major accomplishment...chicken coop comes next!

Somebody's Been Sitting in My Pew!

Someone was in our normal pew this morning when we got to church. So we sat in front of our neighbors instead of behind them like we usually do. It felt really funny to me. I couldn’t quite get settled and it wasn’t because I had an extra kid with me that had spent the night with Baylor. I was frustrated that out of all the pews these folks had selected ours. We LOVE that spot! It is right underneath the angel that says “honor thy father and mother”.
As I sat there for the first 10-15 min I couldn’t help myself. The folks in our pew were loud and I couldn’t concentrate. It was frustrating. But then my friend Angie came and I realized we were closer to her and I could hear our Pastor and could glance back and see the whole congregation instead of being in the thick of folks sitting around us.
It got a little easier and before the end of service I actually liked this new seating arrangement. It made me think of all the other things I had been avoiding that would require some uncomfortable change. Thinking about it through the day I kept wondering how I could have been so upset in the first 10 min and completely comfortable by the end of the hour?
Change is frustrating, giving up bad habits and vices are hard. Giving up control and allowing God to have the reins is even harder on us for a little while, but then it gets easy. My husband believes immensely in the power of positive thinking and speaking fortune into your life, it really works. When we allow negative thinking of “we can’t” do something to creep in we speak our own fate.
Oddly enough the sermon today was about being able to do all things through Christ, and yes we can do all things through Christ. When you feel whole because you are confident you are making good choices, practicing humility and leading with a servants heart you show God you are ready to take on more. You are ready for the challenges and possess the patience to see things through not on your time but on His time!
It may be uncomfortable and completely out of your element to change what has been “you” for so long. You know it has to change before you can progress to the next level. Whether that is completing a degree, getting serious about a passion, making a marriage work…just do it already! The benefit and life long reward is so worth it. We have to do the work though!! And nothing worth having is easily obtained. I am thankful that my Dad instilled that in me. Haven’t always paid attention to it, have often taken the easy way. But I’ve achieved some may-jur things these last 5 years and am down right proud of them. But just like many of my previous diets, I have hit a plateau. That damn fork again!!!
Watching comedian Steve Harvey’s testimony on TBN the other night ( a replay we had previously seen) the words stuck with me…I use to live for fun and now I live for joy (not exact but a good summary). Bayne and I talked about how we were transitioning from just having fun with our life to now really experiencing JOY! It was a little like that pew the first few years but now it is full of joy and we are ready to push for more of it!
As we keep talking about having this 3^rd baby we discuss the comments other people have made to us. We know we will probably be broke-ER, we will be less likely to go on a vacation, we will be chaos to be around for sure…but anything is uncomfortable in the beginning, just like that pew.