Monday, October 4, 2010
Join the Perfect Protest!
Visit http://www.brenebrown.com/ or http://www.ordinarycourage.com/ to join the perfection protest!!!
Here is mine!
Here is mine!
Where is the Instruction Manual?
Through out my years as an organizer and business owner I have had many women approach me for advice. When I lived in Montgomery I was fortunate enough to have an intern twice a year through the Interior Decorating program at Auburn University of Montgomery where I still teach. Interns had to spend approximately 20 hours with me. You get to know someone pretty quick.
I was always amazed at how many questions they had and how they were hoping someone would tell them the secret to success. I had those questions too. I’ve learned only through trial and error that there is no secret to success.
You have to first discover your talents. If you are unaware of your gift from God you have no idea how to interpret your purpose, right? It takes a lot of self awareness. Often times there is no other way to gain self awareness except through some major life crisis.
After some soul searching to decipher the hidden meaning in any life changing event we are stronger, hopefully able to trust ourselves more and ask the questions necessary to encourage us to take the right fork in the road.
But we must be flexible. Plans can change, quickly! I’ve always been proud of my ability to zag when others are still zigging…I am a fast learner and am always aware of my damage factor. For months I have been trying to redefine myself in this new town. Montgomery had a population of over 202,000, our new town…under 15,000. Oh yea, it’s different!
My stand still is that I have been driven for several years now. Once we moved I still found myself traveling the 2 hours to Montgomery for clients even in this second year. In this new place, the emergency brake has been pulled several times now.
My husband and I were talking last night, as we have been many nights lately, about this 3rd baby thing. Which has lead us to talk about our current baby. Lula has had so many growing pains. I cannot bitch about my achievements or disappointments, I am thankful for each one. That is why this blog is called Lula’s Grace…if it were not for Lulagrace (www.Lulagrace.com) I’m not sure if I would be who I am today. But if Lulagrace were to cease to be, who would I be then? Lately I have had some definite time wasters and it just completely drags you down when it isn‘t just your business it‘s your baby. I only have my time for sale. I don’t have a product that I can re-coop the costs. I love to offer free advice but since our move to a smaller town it seems a difficult situation to be in. Money ruins many relationships but I have to contribute to my family, and my time is my product. My knowledge and experience is my service.
As a business owner, of anything, you must always be ready to reinvent yourself. You must stay ahead of the trend and stay current in your education. I have not been sure if I wanted to quit, take some time off or what? My husband says I flip flop from hour to hour. It’s true!!
After really thinking about it, I have made this decision. Lulagrace is a part of me. But I’m not Lulagrace. I COULD give it up, but I love my profession and would go organize for 4 days if someone called today and needed it done, even if they were 4 hours away!
Since her creation I have never known how to exactly clock out at the end of the day. My husband has been incredibly understanding to allow me to dedicate so much of my time to this 24 hour commitment. But it is time for me to draw the line between my personal and my professional life. I need balance restored between the two.
As of Oct. 4th I will no longer answer calls after 5pm, I will no longer return Lula emails after 5pm. I will also book out my jobs so I am only on one at a time. My business hours are 8-5 just like everyone else. I am going to start enforcing my rates and if you want free advice, you can attend the introductory free class I am teaching at FUMC beginning October 13th.
I love you all, but ask that you respect what I do. Yes, it is a talent and ideas pouring from my mouth are part of what makes me fun to be around, but it is also my J-O-B. The ability to organize a project and “Git er Done” attitude make me a plus to any function for sure. But it is wearing me out! And it puts no money in my pocket. Not to mention incredibly unfair to my paying clients. So, sorry to rant this morning. This is why I have been uncomfortable and ill at ease for over a month. For the past week I have been up at 5am each morning with this first on my mind.
While there is no instruction manual for discovering your own passion there isn’t one for running a business either. You learn as you go. I appreciate all my clients and I love to help out when I can. I am learning to say “No, thank you!”. Please don’t be offended or take it personal when I do.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Somebody's Been Sitting in My Pew!
Someone was in our normal pew this morning when we got to church. So we sat in front of our neighbors instead of behind them like we usually do. It felt really funny to me. I couldn’t quite get settled and it wasn’t because I had an extra kid with me that had spent the night with Baylor. I was frustrated that out of all the pews these folks had selected ours. We LOVE that spot! It is right underneath the angel that says “honor thy father and mother”.
As I sat there for the first 10-15 min I couldn’t help myself. The folks in our pew were loud and I couldn’t concentrate. It was frustrating. But then my friend Angie came and I realized we were closer to her and I could hear our Pastor and could glance back and see the whole congregation instead of being in the thick of folks sitting around us.
It got a little easier and before the end of service I actually liked this new seating arrangement. It made me think of all the other things I had been avoiding that would require some uncomfortable change. Thinking about it through the day I kept wondering how I could have been so upset in the first 10 min and completely comfortable by the end of the hour?
Change is frustrating, giving up bad habits and vices are hard. Giving up control and allowing God to have the reins is even harder on us for a little while, but then it gets easy. My husband believes immensely in the power of positive thinking and speaking fortune into your life, it really works. When we allow negative thinking of “we can’t” do something to creep in we speak our own fate.
Oddly enough the sermon today was about being able to do all things through Christ, and yes we can do all things through Christ. When you feel whole because you are confident you are making good choices, practicing humility and leading with a servants heart you show God you are ready to take on more. You are ready for the challenges and possess the patience to see things through not on your time but on His time!
It may be uncomfortable and completely out of your element to change what has been “you” for so long. You know it has to change before you can progress to the next level. Whether that is completing a degree, getting serious about a passion, making a marriage work…just do it already! The benefit and life long reward is so worth it. We have to do the work though!! And nothing worth having is easily obtained. I am thankful that my Dad instilled that in me. Haven’t always paid attention to it, have often taken the easy way. But I’ve achieved some may-jur things these last 5 years and am down right proud of them. But just like many of my previous diets, I have hit a plateau. That damn fork again!!!
Watching comedian Steve Harvey’s testimony on TBN the other night ( a replay we had previously seen) the words stuck with me…I use to live for fun and now I live for joy (not exact but a good summary). Bayne and I talked about how we were transitioning from just having fun with our life to now really experiencing JOY! It was a little like that pew the first few years but now it is full of joy and we are ready to push for more of it!
As we keep talking about having this 3rd baby we discuss the comments other people have made to us. We know we will probably be broke-ER, we will be less likely to go on a vacation, we will be chaos to be around for sure…but anything is uncomfortable in the beginning, just like that pew.
As I sat there for the first 10-15 min I couldn’t help myself. The folks in our pew were loud and I couldn’t concentrate. It was frustrating. But then my friend Angie came and I realized we were closer to her and I could hear our Pastor and could glance back and see the whole congregation instead of being in the thick of folks sitting around us.
It got a little easier and before the end of service I actually liked this new seating arrangement. It made me think of all the other things I had been avoiding that would require some uncomfortable change. Thinking about it through the day I kept wondering how I could have been so upset in the first 10 min and completely comfortable by the end of the hour?
Change is frustrating, giving up bad habits and vices are hard. Giving up control and allowing God to have the reins is even harder on us for a little while, but then it gets easy. My husband believes immensely in the power of positive thinking and speaking fortune into your life, it really works. When we allow negative thinking of “we can’t” do something to creep in we speak our own fate.
Oddly enough the sermon today was about being able to do all things through Christ, and yes we can do all things through Christ. When you feel whole because you are confident you are making good choices, practicing humility and leading with a servants heart you show God you are ready to take on more. You are ready for the challenges and possess the patience to see things through not on your time but on His time!
It may be uncomfortable and completely out of your element to change what has been “you” for so long. You know it has to change before you can progress to the next level. Whether that is completing a degree, getting serious about a passion, making a marriage work…just do it already! The benefit and life long reward is so worth it. We have to do the work though!! And nothing worth having is easily obtained. I am thankful that my Dad instilled that in me. Haven’t always paid attention to it, have often taken the easy way. But I’ve achieved some may-jur things these last 5 years and am down right proud of them. But just like many of my previous diets, I have hit a plateau. That damn fork again!!!
Watching comedian Steve Harvey’s testimony on TBN the other night ( a replay we had previously seen) the words stuck with me…I use to live for fun and now I live for joy (not exact but a good summary). Bayne and I talked about how we were transitioning from just having fun with our life to now really experiencing JOY! It was a little like that pew the first few years but now it is full of joy and we are ready to push for more of it!
As we keep talking about having this 3rd baby we discuss the comments other people have made to us. We know we will probably be broke-ER, we will be less likely to go on a vacation, we will be chaos to be around for sure…but anything is uncomfortable in the beginning, just like that pew.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Update on "My Happiness Project"
It is such a funny little life I lead. Really quite amazing. It isn't based in wealth or having a lot of possessions. In fact, over the last 5 years I am sad to say I have noticed I have no makeup left and certainly less clothing, my former shoe collection breaks my heart and just TRY to find a matching pair of earrings. I have noticed around me that I have actually narrowed down how much we have these days, like by lots! Since we cut up credit cards in 2007 we just don't over shop anymore. And because we live within a budget I have to really justify that $12 bottle of foundation.
There are so many things I could want for though. I want a new pair of boots, a new belt, a faux fur vest, bigger sunglasses, make up! But, I woke up this morning, dropped the kids off, headed out to the barn and the dew was still fresh on the grass. Far off in the shade of the trees I could see the silhouette of my equine buddies making their way to the fence for feeding time. The most beautiful sight was opening those barn doors as I do each Tuesday morning and seeing those magnificent creatures with just a hint of smoke coming from their nostrils. Looking all along the fence row I could see the leaves had all really started turning. The same 4 turkeys that always stroll through began making their way across the paddock. I hardly broke a sweat with my morning work but couldn't escape getting dirty. I always feel accomplished leaving that place. I like to imagine this is the way my grandfather, Eugene, felt after a good hard days work. He had cattle, chickens, pigs, a sugar cane mill, a donkey, cats, dogs, u name it! It was a working farm. I loved summer's there as a child. It is nice to have that place still to go home to thought that might not always be the case I realize now.
Not sure how long the old house will stand.
From there the day's work went into the radio show and then thoughts turned toward tomorrow's lessons for EASI. It is our last session and some of these kids will not make it back next session. On one hand I am excited to have a Wed. free next week but then I'm gonna hate not seeing some of those faces. There will be new ones though.
I sometimes think what I do is boring and mundane and just really simply an excuse to not punch a 40 hr time card. I do enjoy it then again if you talked to me tomorrow I would be upset because running a business is super frustrating and super duper hard and let's face it...people take advantage. I enjoy what I do, I just hate running the business side. That is the part that makes me wanna take the signs off the truck and say I quit every month!!
It is more obvious than ever that it is really all about balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing. I am finishing up my "Happiness Project" and I can honestly say it has been a fun project to catch up each month. I realize that there are certain shortcomings I must accept and not try to further force myself to like what I SHOULD like.
Looking at my calendar to log a new appt it hits me... I have booked a 3 hr field trip, a 1 hour radio show, 4 classes, two different presentations and preparing for a 4 day camping trip away from my children the 12th and 13th. I will have to pack the weekend of the women's conference along with preparing all of the week's blog entries and information for the kids to go back and forth to school.
In "The Happiness Project" Gretchen Rubin quotes Michel de Montaigne, "The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced."
I must accept my own nature but also stay motivated. I must learn the difference as Rubin states from "lack of interest" and "fear of failure".
I'm getting there. I realize it isn't traditional this life of mine. I am not the norm for sure when my husband tells me "(fill in blank name here) still doesn't know what you do"
So as I am reflecting on my day and how much I enjoyed it I think is this happiness? Is this balance? Even though I know my father is going through what he is going through, my sister is probably incredibly tired by today of care taking and my mother is so ready to be home it is unfair...and I am eat up with worry over those situations. I know I cannot control those events and its okay to feel some happiness from where I am in life even though those things are happening right now. I don't think my parents would want me to be miserable, right?
My mom constantly tells me to remember to stop and smell a rose once and a while. I told Bayne a few weeks ago I was chopping the ropes to dead weight by mass amounts...and I've been working on lightening my load. But then I commit to like 6 different things that all start or end in a 2 day period, requiring all different text, even different clothes and LOTS of preparation.
Today I wrote my presentation an hour before I went on air. I will sit down in the morning and write my lesson plans for the day on site. I find I really do my best work under pressure and should stop feeling guilty for it...I thrive in chaos!! Don't know why! But I obviously ENJOY it or I wouldn't keep doing it to myself. So I should celebrate it, put my abilities on blast! "Works well under pressure" "Diffuser of Chaos". As my dad says, "some folks aren't happy unless they are burning the candle at both ends"
When learning to ride you must also eventually learn how to fall. Learning to relax your body and rooolllll into it decreasing your damage potential.
You are then suppose to roll up onto your heels and simply pop up. I think I have learned how to enjoy life so much because of that very idea...I've learned how to rooollll into it...thus decreasing my damage risk and pop back up.
When Rubin makes reference to an acquaintance citing John Stuart Mill's view "Ask yourself if you are happy, and you cease to be so." She questions if he had meant a reference by the researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to the state of flow. "In flow, it's true, people are completely absorbed, so focused on their tasks that they forget themselves at the perfect balance of challenge and skill." Whereas she felt maybe her friend was insinuating that to ponder ones happiness meant you were self absorbed or perhaps happiness comes as a consequence of pursuing other goals, such as love and work, and therefor shouldn't be a goal in itself. After pondering these ideas a bit further Rubin responds with "You're happy if you think you're happy.
I am learning to live on less for sure, but I have never felt richer than I do today. No doubt, I've come a long way from my "collection's manager" (i use that term loosely) days. Those were the days I HATED getting up and going to work. Newly married, no idea what I was doing, working for horrible ambulance chasers, greasy, unlikable sort of men, then later moving on to corporate hell. I am grateful for each day, you got that right! I simply must be happy because I think I'm happy!
I've contemplated September's goal to "Pursue a Passion" now I am looking forward to starting October's chapter on "Pay Attention, Mindfulness."
For more information on how you can start your own Happiness Project or to read more by Gretchen Rubin visit www.happiness-project.com .
There are so many things I could want for though. I want a new pair of boots, a new belt, a faux fur vest, bigger sunglasses, make up! But, I woke up this morning, dropped the kids off, headed out to the barn and the dew was still fresh on the grass. Far off in the shade of the trees I could see the silhouette of my equine buddies making their way to the fence for feeding time. The most beautiful sight was opening those barn doors as I do each Tuesday morning and seeing those magnificent creatures with just a hint of smoke coming from their nostrils. Looking all along the fence row I could see the leaves had all really started turning. The same 4 turkeys that always stroll through began making their way across the paddock. I hardly broke a sweat with my morning work but couldn't escape getting dirty. I always feel accomplished leaving that place. I like to imagine this is the way my grandfather, Eugene, felt after a good hard days work. He had cattle, chickens, pigs, a sugar cane mill, a donkey, cats, dogs, u name it! It was a working farm. I loved summer's there as a child. It is nice to have that place still to go home to thought that might not always be the case I realize now.
Not sure how long the old house will stand.
From there the day's work went into the radio show and then thoughts turned toward tomorrow's lessons for EASI. It is our last session and some of these kids will not make it back next session. On one hand I am excited to have a Wed. free next week but then I'm gonna hate not seeing some of those faces. There will be new ones though.
I sometimes think what I do is boring and mundane and just really simply an excuse to not punch a 40 hr time card. I do enjoy it then again if you talked to me tomorrow I would be upset because running a business is super frustrating and super duper hard and let's face it...people take advantage. I enjoy what I do, I just hate running the business side. That is the part that makes me wanna take the signs off the truck and say I quit every month!!
It is more obvious than ever that it is really all about balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing. I am finishing up my "Happiness Project" and I can honestly say it has been a fun project to catch up each month. I realize that there are certain shortcomings I must accept and not try to further force myself to like what I SHOULD like.
Looking at my calendar to log a new appt it hits me... I have booked a 3 hr field trip, a 1 hour radio show, 4 classes, two different presentations and preparing for a 4 day camping trip away from my children the 12th and 13th. I will have to pack the weekend of the women's conference along with preparing all of the week's blog entries and information for the kids to go back and forth to school.
In "The Happiness Project" Gretchen Rubin quotes Michel de Montaigne, "The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced."
I must accept my own nature but also stay motivated. I must learn the difference as Rubin states from "lack of interest" and "fear of failure".
I'm getting there. I realize it isn't traditional this life of mine. I am not the norm for sure when my husband tells me "(fill in blank name here) still doesn't know what you do"
So as I am reflecting on my day and how much I enjoyed it I think is this happiness? Is this balance? Even though I know my father is going through what he is going through, my sister is probably incredibly tired by today of care taking and my mother is so ready to be home it is unfair...and I am eat up with worry over those situations. I know I cannot control those events and its okay to feel some happiness from where I am in life even though those things are happening right now. I don't think my parents would want me to be miserable, right?
My mom constantly tells me to remember to stop and smell a rose once and a while. I told Bayne a few weeks ago I was chopping the ropes to dead weight by mass amounts...and I've been working on lightening my load. But then I commit to like 6 different things that all start or end in a 2 day period, requiring all different text, even different clothes and LOTS of preparation.
Today I wrote my presentation an hour before I went on air. I will sit down in the morning and write my lesson plans for the day on site. I find I really do my best work under pressure and should stop feeling guilty for it...I thrive in chaos!! Don't know why! But I obviously ENJOY it or I wouldn't keep doing it to myself. So I should celebrate it, put my abilities on blast! "Works well under pressure" "Diffuser of Chaos". As my dad says, "some folks aren't happy unless they are burning the candle at both ends"
When learning to ride you must also eventually learn how to fall. Learning to relax your body and rooolllll into it decreasing your damage potential.
You are then suppose to roll up onto your heels and simply pop up. I think I have learned how to enjoy life so much because of that very idea...I've learned how to rooollll into it...thus decreasing my damage risk and pop back up.
When Rubin makes reference to an acquaintance citing John Stuart Mill's view "Ask yourself if you are happy, and you cease to be so." She questions if he had meant a reference by the researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to the state of flow. "In flow, it's true, people are completely absorbed, so focused on their tasks that they forget themselves at the perfect balance of challenge and skill." Whereas she felt maybe her friend was insinuating that to ponder ones happiness meant you were self absorbed or perhaps happiness comes as a consequence of pursuing other goals, such as love and work, and therefor shouldn't be a goal in itself. After pondering these ideas a bit further Rubin responds with "You're happy if you think you're happy.
I am learning to live on less for sure, but I have never felt richer than I do today. No doubt, I've come a long way from my "collection's manager" (i use that term loosely) days. Those were the days I HATED getting up and going to work. Newly married, no idea what I was doing, working for horrible ambulance chasers, greasy, unlikable sort of men, then later moving on to corporate hell. I am grateful for each day, you got that right! I simply must be happy because I think I'm happy!
I've contemplated September's goal to "Pursue a Passion" now I am looking forward to starting October's chapter on "Pay Attention, Mindfulness."
For more information on how you can start your own Happiness Project or to read more by Gretchen Rubin visit www.happiness-project.com .
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